Winning You With Words

Winning you with words, because I have no other way

I'd love to look into your face  

without your eyes turning away

-Gray or Blue by Jaymay

Wellllll...I'm still writing in this forum because I've still some kinks to smooth out with the new blog site. Today's essay will also be abbreviated, compared to previous entries, and I'm considering making Musings a twice weekly posting so as to keep the essays and Featured Royal Rebels manageable.  I inadvertently gave a sneak peek of Musings' new home today via Twatter, when it was nowhere near ready for unveiling. Nonetheless, in the four minute window of exposure, my dear @deedreamer16 peeked at it and left a warm comment. She rejoiced at the new layout, which was so very kind of her, so I guess it's a good sign that an unfinished product is already garnering positive feedback. Hopefully next week, Lovelies, the new site for Musings will be up and running in it's intended gloriousness. In the meantime, I'll still write a little blurb today because I've swirling ideas in my brain that may need to get out onto paper before I combust. Let's check in with our Other Queen for a minute so we can set the stage for today's topic. 

Ahh. There she is. 

Last week, as Team Other applauded Kristen's communication of desiring privacy without making a sound, Kristen's partner Rob went home to England for a much-needed, much deserved break. Of course, all sorts of sightings blossomed, and therefore rumors, and therefore "editorials" as well, as is the usual when Kristen and Rob are out of the public spotlight. One particularly Rob-"focused" site (which will not be mentioned by name nor linked from here) published an extremely condescending (towards their idol Rob!) article in the format of a letter indicating that Kristen is trying to meld to and assume Rob's life and identity. I cringed and held back the bile that was building in the back of my throat as I read through said public declaration. The author of the ridiculous article declared Kristen a "clinger" and accused her of trying to infiltrate Rob's life by honing in on the relationship with Rob's best friend TomStu (um, Kristen's On the Road costar), and not only after publicity, but also Rob's father Richard (as in, GET OFF MY DICK).  

Do I look impressed by you? You insult my choices,

 insult my family and trash my girl. I SEE YOU. You are no "fans" of mine.

 Words are weapons

So after I finished giggle-snorting through that article, I of course, glanced at the responding comments. HOLY BEJEEBUS, BATMAN!! At last count, the responses were approaching five hundred. And, much like the comments left on the joint Entertainment Weekly interview in which strongly Rob defended and supported Kristen, the comments on this vomitous post were incredibly sexist, crude, and disrespectful not only of Kristen (don't even get me started on the commenters' responses about her physical anatomy) but of the very man they are "obsessed" over and idolize--Rob!  And they were nearly all women. And again, we're not talking a measly handful of comments, there were hundreds. It's quite probable that Rob was talking about the people running and commenting on these types of websites when he refers to the "nerdy bloggers" who "hide behind their computers" and take no responsibility for their words or claims, regardless of how ludicrous they are. 

While this is hardly groundbreaking news, I still am grappling with the irresponsibility that is rampant and most likely a constant thorn in Kristen and Rob's lives. Do people not recognize the power of their words any more? In this time of technology overload, have folks forgotten the impact and effect words have on shaping a situation, or effecting a person/system? Is there no accountability left? 

One day? Rob will wear THIS shirt.

 Then what, Ladies??

A Psych 101 Moment

A modern development among psychology treatment theories, Narrative therapy has the goal of changing a problem-saturated story to reflect a preferred one. In basic terms, we create our own stories, and we choose to make them as positive and truthful as we'd prefer. Conversely, we can, with our own words and behaviors, write a story of negativity, victimization and tragedy. Narrative therapists (I employ Narrative techniques in my own practice) do not believe that people are what they are labeled.

Can you see how calling a person a name (labeling): i.e., BITCH, SLUT, MAN-WHORE, LOSER, UGLY can shape that person's ability to view themselves? A reminder: You only have to hear or see written words once before the words start permeating your subconscious. Think about it: If you hear or read enough criticisms about yourself, when do you start to believe them?? Internalize them? Fall prey to them? Accept them?? Luckily, our Queen of Other Kristen, is a strong and resilient woman. But even she isn't immune. She has admitted several times how criticisms and googled words have cut her. For those of you projecting criticisms, double standards, hate and nonsense onto two people who you most likely do not know, is this indicative that you act similarly in your personal lives too?? But towards or  around people you DO know, who may even be close to you? The people surrounding you may or may not look like this:

But I assure you, your harsh judgments and voracious regurgitation has power to do this:

that is one sad pumelo

The words written and carelessly splashed across the internet and tabloids, like in the article mentioned above, is an example of Words as Weapons. Fantastically (*sarcasm*) folks utilize mediums such as Twatter and Facebook to spread the venom as well, further and faster. Dear commenters and mods on sites supporting the bashing of Rob and Kristen: Do you ever wonder what such public spewage conveys about you? To someone who doesn't know you from Adam, even your "joking" comments ripping apart a twenty year old girl because of shorts she wears, or nervousness she exudes at public events tells magnitudes about your story. You don't want to be labeled, you say?

Stop fashioning your OWN WEAPONS. 

STOP HANDING OUT THE DESCRIPTORS FOR YOUR STORY. 

At the very least, cultivate awareness when you're in a public setting (especially Twitter, Facebook, highly-followed blogs)...where you are responsible for influencing hundreds and thousands of "followers" to mindlessly label and bash a young woman...This woman may be someone's sister, cousin, aunt, mother, girlfriend or daughter because you essentially gave permission to folks who admire you to act as you do. CHOOSE. YOUR. WORDS. WISELY.

Words are wealthy

Because I'm all about balance...Let's take a moment to witness some positive words about Kristen Stewart, our perpetually awkward but consistently genuine Royal Rebel, to counterbalance the weaponry hurled by the anonymous and seemingly spiteful blog commenters.

Actor William Hurt says:

"I’ve defended her in public as regularly as I can. I think it’s absurd, that they’re not giving her a break. I think that she’s holding her own, that she’s courageous, that she’s inventive, and that she’s got character oozing out of her, and I say, “Give her a break. Who is she to pander to your idea of what she’s supposed to be?”

Actor/Director Sean Penn says:
She is “A truth machine".  Mr. Penn, who cast her as a folk singer with a  serious infatuation in “Into the Wild,” said reports Kristen as “magically easy to direct,” adding, “She is a real force with terrific instincts.”

Legendary Actor Bruce Dern says:
"She is a one-of-a-kinder. She has a beautiful, knowledgeable face... a hauntedness. Look at Kristen Stewart: she is unique. There are maybe only two other actresses like her, and they're much older than Kristen."

A Musings Playlist:

Well, since I wasn't able to completely move Musings to the new website, I won't start the Other Soundtrack Giveaway til next week either. But I did want to let you know the playlist is forming beautifully, and I will post a few songs on the playlist below, so you have an idea of what the finalized copy will look like.

the devils tears:: angus and julia stone

           wave of mutilation:: pixies

not afraid:: eminem

addicted to love:: florence + the machine

wake up:: arcade fire

hallelujah:: jeff buckley

....and others

The Featured Rebel Royal segment will also be on hiatus again this week, but we will continue where we left off in learning about new Rebels next week. We will continue to defend and support the awkward, the left-of-center, the unique, the odd, and the extraordinary as long as the detractors and doubters remain out there too. My hope is that we're finding that there are more of us OTHERS out there than ever. *big grin*. Wishing Rob some restful recuperation time in London with his family. Wishing Kristen luck and strength as she wraps up her On the Road filming sequences this week. Wishing you all continued celebration and acceptance of your Otherness. See you next week. Always, KJ

Rob is Other.

Kristen is Other.

Others choose their words wisely.

Embrace your Other. 

Go forth..with blessings

Well, hello there! Happy Thursday, no, um, Friday , ok, Saturday, my Misfit Pioneers! It's been quite a time these past days since I've Mused with you last. Thank you muchly for being kind with me as I adjust to all the changes this week. I hope you enjoyed Bouffant’s Other Queen Retrospective yesterday on the stunning rabble rouser EllenBurstyn. If you did, leave a comment here on Musings or find Bouffant @bouffant00 on Twatter to share your reactions, mmmkay?

So. Let's review the past week since we last hung together. Our girl NinjaStew was low-pro for several days, though speculation and unsubstantiated sightings ran amok since she left Argentina. The mob at the South American airports was a little disconcerting and per usual, I avoid showing pics that are acquired through sketchy channels. However, I did want to note a couple pictures that made me smile, including one Vulture pic because homage must be paid to Sweet, Sweet Sam...

Have you seen the picture where Sam is essentially tucking Kristen into him as they rush through the airport? Though he is not as familiar with the hectic "fiending" that Kristen encounters every day (hey, good going to whomever tweets Kristen's exact location *sarcasm*), he stayed close to her, offering protection and support. Sam, because you let our Reigning Other Queen take shelter under your umbrella, you are a HERO. Thank you for keeping an eye on our girl in an honorary roll of Protector a la ASB (John) and Protective Rob. Thank you for trying to preserve one of our Precious Resources...a rare Royal Rebel.

She may be flying under the radar as she does best, but Kristen sure is cropping up and soothing the ache a bit in her absence. I am just getting a glimpse at the Australian Marie Claire story in which Kristen speaks about the maturing Bella in Eclipse, and Kristen's love for her work.

Work to Live

I wanted to talk a little about that today, about loving work, and following the path of Creative Living, surveying the blessings in our lives despite setbacks, obstacles and challenges. While our Queen Stew's detractors criticize her for "not handling fame well" or forfeiting her happiness and privacy because she picked acting as her career, she reports in the lovely Marie Claire article:
"I love to work. I'm so passionate about the process. Because I get to play strong personalities [Joan Jett in The Runaways, Mallory in Welcome to the Rileys'], different characters from what I am most known for [Bella Swan], I get to choose now to do good projects in the future."

You see what she did there? Kristen took an idea or a concept and reframed the negative connotation and injected optimism. In psychology, a technique based out of the post-modernist theories called Reframing is used for assessing strengths and motivation for change. It simply is a shift in perspective. A well known reframe:

From "the glass is half empty" to "that glass is half full"

We here on Team Other live for reframes, hence Beauty Marks and Offenses of Otherness.

Offenses of Otherness // Reframes (BeautyMarks):

Kristen is brash and direct // She is honest and makes her wishes known

Kristen stutters and fidgets // She is careful with words and initially shy

See where I'm going with this? The interviewer in this magazine article asks Kristen:

"Do you feel exhausted by the attention you have to deal with?"

Kristen's reframing answer:

"It's hard for me to talk about that without giving the impression I am being negative. I love acting and I'm so grateful for Twilight and the opportunities it's given me."

Kristen's reframes have always manifested in the form of gratitude and humility. She firstly thanks her fans and she reports how blessed she is in even having a job. She humbly accepts the chances to participate in projects with which she feels a personal connection. How much more gracious and Royal can this girl be??

Kristen works to live, she does not live to work. She recognizes that her chosen career is amongst the public arena, and that she'll occasionally encounter some challenges (Vulture Papz, inquiry into her private life, overzealous, entitled "fans"), but she recognizes that the positive rewards far outweigh those bumps. She shyly reports to the Marie Claire interviewer:

"I'm just not very good at dealing with the idea of being followed everywhere."

Fair enough, my friend, fair enough. Once you glimpse the chance to reframe a situation, it becomes evident that optimism, and opportunity is everrah where. Try it. Look around. There are signs in every interaction, every reaction, every moment for a shot of positivity, or a shift in perspective. I've discovered signs on a daily basis that urge me to keep moving forward, despite bumps in the road. The signs that I am doing the right thing, following my bliss, are everywhere. Everywhere. Like Kristen, I've found that doing what I love, sharing it all with everyone I've chosen in my life has rewarded me immensely. I am happier than I have been in years. Let me tell you a little about this past week to illustrate the goodness...

The signs are everywhere...

Last week, after hopping on a plane and writing Musings, I dove head-first into the busiest most wonderfully chaotic five days which included a childhood bestie's wedding (and an open bar), a birthday gathering with KSIBTU Crew gals, a meeting with a business accountant, dates with soul sisters @Robkris13 and @ProRobsten and copious amounts of alcohol. Not only was I merging my splintered fragments together (whaa? I told my childhood besties that I write a blog about KStew and Unconventional Beauty?) but I kept seeing signs that I was was going to be OK...and opportunities for reframes were everywhere! You may have caught my tweets when I was bowling with @Just2CUSmile and the birfday grrl @kimmcarr...bahaha.

We should have just put a straw in the pitcher.

Not 0 for "no points".

"O" for Double OTHERNESS

Or how bout, for no foreseeable reason, I received a gift, an original painting from the insanely talented @Jhiggs86 to remind me of The First Muse, and of blessings she's bestowed upon me...

I may have moved into Gloating Territory here.

Oh and not to mention the fed-exed envelopes I received containing cards, letters, gifts, funds, whispers of luck and love, tokens of affection from my Sisters/Readers and Beloveds.

I can't even...don't have the words

I can happily report to you that I was able to move forward in launching The Magical Little Practice on September 1, despite having lost a huge chunk of start-up capital and the support of a most beloved source, if only for a brief moment. Another confirming sign that I was going to be ok? That despite some of the obstacles in front of me, I was doing the right thing? One of those Levi's Jeans print ads that are circulating, quoting Walt Whitman. I was sitting on the train, en route to my new office on my first day, my nose pressed against the window, when we stopped at an intersection. This was the poster on the wall directly in front of me:

Go. Forth.

Topless.

Everrah where, you guys. See what I mean? Take a moment, open your eyes. Channel your inner ReframeStew. Look at all the amazing possibilities for optimism and creativity surrounding us. Let's meet the Featured Rebel today...a woman who is fierce but fragile, optimistic and brilliant. A girl who has gracefully and very publicly fought to overcome unspeakably agonizing drawbacks.

Featured Royal Rebel: Michelle Williams

Thanks again to one of my comrades in creativity and inspiration, @theurbanwhisk, I was able to explore my fascination with this notoriously shy but courageous lady. She clearly embodies and beautifully represents the qualities of a Rebel Queen: shy, cerebral, weary of intrusive press, dedicated student of her craft, insatiably pursuing knowledge, soulful and unique. While she may be publicly known as the former fiancee of fellow Royal Rebel Heath Ledger (featured in last week's Musings), she has been on my radar ever since she played Jen on the WB/CW/What-ever-the hell-network-it-is network's teen soap opera Dawson's Creek.

Michelle was sixteen years old when she first took on the role of Jen, and she admittedly reported confusing the ideas and concepts of "beauty" at that impressionable age. She told Vogue in the fall of 2009 that Jen's beauty was "sexy and pretty", but that there was "something bad" about that too. "I got it in my head that my beauty was not worthwhile." She shied away from playing anymore "pretty girl roles" after the completion of Creek, choosing instead to "play the opposite".

She is anything but the opposite of beauty. She is an Oscar-nominated, respected and revered actor, and more importantly, she is the fiercely determined single mother to her three-year-old daughter, Mathilda, whose father is the late, great actor Heath Ledger. Michelle now says she navigates the tricky position of being a working single mother with the help and support of friends and family. Her focus remains first and foremost on her daughter. She tells Vogue, "I think she deserves the bulk of my attention. We're lucky. I can work. She can go to a good school, there's a lot available for her." As Michelle moved through the stages of grief in the aftermath of Mr Ledger's death, she found that caution around intrusive reporters and paparazzi has served well, as has immersing herself in work. She appeared in Scorsese's Shutter Island this year and is preparing to be featured with Ryan Gosling (another Royal Rebel) in the indie film Blue Valentine, which has already received rave critical and audience reviews from the Sundance and Cannes film festivals.

Offenses of Otherness

* Extremely reticent to participate in press interviews

* Remarkably grounded in here-and-now awareness

* Refuses to minimize her intelligence

Reigning Other Queen: Kristen Stewart

So while she was low-pro and underground for awhile there, we caught glimpses of our reigning Queen on the On the Road set in New Orleans. With her gloriously light hair and her casual attitude, Kristen looked gooood. I mean, who looks this good when they're just, y'know, chillin?

Effortless, calm, engaged in conversation, I think she looks better than ever. It might have to do with the fact that she's involved in a film project based on a book she refers to as one of her "very favorites", in the company of elite acting royalty (you know about Viggo, Steve Buscemi and Amy Adams, right? Good Lawd!) It might be because she was stealth and unseen for several days and perhaps met up with her beautiful partner Rob at some point. She may look this rested and lovely because she recognizes that the blessings in her life clearly outnumber the challenges...Or her contentedness may be because she knows that even with challenges, she will always, push onward.

Offenses of Otherness:

*Cautious and protective of the details in her private life

*Extraordinarily down to earth and genuine

*Only accepts projects she feels a personal connection to

Go Forth...

Because she embodies resilience, grace and beauty in the face of adversity, Michelle wears a crown on the Royal Court.

Because she continuously represents graciousness, humility and awareness, despite detractors constantly watching for a stumble, Kristen is our Reigning Other Queen.

Michelle is Other.

Kristen is Other.

Others continuously
Work To Live.

Embrace Your Other.

Question: Are you living to work? Or Working to Live?

A/N: I will actually write sappy love letters directly to the peeps who have held my hand and given me such joy and love these days. Possum Besties, Tebby, ProRobsten...all of you know who you girls are to me. Just a couple thoughts: Thank you, my beloved CC of @KSIBTU for pre-reading tonight's midnight drop. And @Buff_82 for so patiently coddling me in the foreign world of website design. To @Bouffant for taking it for the team and posting her lovely essay when I could not. To my sisters/Readers...You make me laugh. You make me strong. I'll respond to comments and tweets and emails this week. Going forward...SEE YOU NEXT THURSDAY! xo, Kj

Balance, Brothers and Stewie

A/N: Today's essay went completely unbeta'd. I am late on posting this due to complications involving my own methods of grounding and calm, mainly, sleep. I also am trying to strike the balance in starting the new "Magical Little Practice" and living the Creative Life. Takes some practice. Bear with me as I find my footing, my lovelies. Thank you in advance for your kind leniencies.

* * *

After a month of successful ninja-ing, our reigning Queen Stewie emerged in a fan pic with her On the Road costar Garrett and one of her good friends Tom Sturridge in Montreal a couple days ago. KStew appeared happy, relaxed and knowing, her smile full of secrets and promise. Perhaps it's because she had long already known what the public officially learned just yesterday: TomStu, in addition to his usual duties as friend and protector, has landed a role in the already epic Kerouac-based film alongside Kristen and Garret! Perhaps her smile also indicated that her partner in crime, featured Rebel Robert was in the vicinity as well. Perhaps. Whatever the reason, I loved what I saw in Kristen's smile. And I rejoiced at the news of Tom's casting in On the Road. This film, already epic with its brilliant actors and director, storied inceptions and Francis Ford Coppola's backing, has the makings of legend in my opinion. Just to revisit the beauty and billiance of this cast, lets look at a few pictures, shall we? The following beautiful pic compilations were found online. I did not make them, but I would love to credit their creator. If this is your work, let me know, please, so I can credit properly. Beautiful.

Sam as Sal/Kerouac

Kristen as Marylou/Luanne

Garrett as Dean/Neal

Welcome to such a glorious, prestigious cast, TomStu! We learned last week at this time that the acting greats Viggo Mortensen and Amy Adams were slated to play supporting characters in the film, catapulting the role sheet to mythical status, again, just in my opinion. I think Tom will fit in with this cast juuuust fine.

Hello, Tom. Congratulations.

You have somehow only added to the epicness of OTR.

Ok, so outside his pleasing aesthetics, his status as Rob Pattinson's Bestie, and a protective, brother-type to KStew, Tom is a gifted actor in his own right. Did you SEE The Boat That Rocked (Pirate Radio in The States)?? If you haven't, you must go watch it RIGHT NOW. Seriously, it's one of the best movies I've seen in a long time, complete with beautiful Brits (TomStu & Co), a pristine classic rock soundtrack and poetic Others in all their gorgeous rebelliousness. That movie's cast, much like the cast for On the Road boasts a smorgasbord of Rebel Royals and Others.

ICU, Stewie, all smirky goodness, behind Tom's shoulder!

Back to NinjaStew. Let's give props to the fans who made viewing KStew, Tom and Garrett possible: Gustavo and Miguel. These guys, for me, embodied the nature of supportive, sensitve fans, respectfully approaching Kristen first before snapping a picture with her, and only posting the encounter and pics afterwards to grant the actors some privacy and anonymity. They didn't even realize who Tom and Garrett were, until afterward. Their eyes were only for Kristen, spouting descriptors in Spanish: "Kind. Perfection. Beautiful." We concur, my friends, we concur.

Today's Musings will continue last week's theme, delving further into how we've coped with the absence of our Queen, Stealth Stewie and her gorgeous partner in crime: Rebel Ninja Rob. How have we balanced the onslaught of 3D life (work, family, summer vacation planning) with our participation in the Kristen/Rob/Twilight Fandom and our ongoing mission of embracing Otherness and Authenticity as Rebel Royals? Although, it has been lovely to dig up some old outtakes (you all know how i feel about outtakes--why? Too much Pretty? Too many Offenses of Otherness?), like THESE:

EW's 2007 Twilight photoshoot

InStyle Magazine's 2008 Twilight photoshoot

We already loved her then too, Rob

Balancing Cause and Effect

Its a precarious thing, balance. Elusive, even. There are so many things thrown at us within each moment, within each day, it's a wonder we don't crawl into the fetal position and beg for it all to wash away. But we do not (not all the time, anyway). There are a few physical places I've actually witnessed that embodied the idea of balance and proves the concept of coexistence. One of them I'll tell you about today. This place is a site on the stunning island of Bali, Indonesia. The entire island represents balance and karma, really, but this site in particular represents coexistence. Floating atop this peaceful lake is the Hindu Temple Uluan Danu:

And a mere few yards offshore sit a Budhhist Temple, a Catholic cathedral and a mosque, all within walking distance, all amongst fragrant and beatific gardens.

Why do I find this especially significant? Without going into the tenants of any specific organized religion, because that's not how Musings rolls, I will say that I am touched that vastly different ideologies can exist harmoniously. In Indonesia, with a population surpassing 237 million people, a staggering 86% of those people practice Islam, which includes my husband and his family. The remaining fourteen percent of the country's citizens may practice anything from Hinduism, Buddhism and Christianity to agnosticism. But no one is shut out. There is place for anyone who wants to worship. There is an opportunity for equality, balance. Within walking distance.

So the thing about Balinese philosophy is this: It is based on the what is called tri hita karana, which means that there is harmony, balance, and equilibrium between God--however you know God to be--the environment and the community/people. In other words: Interconnectedness. Happiness and peace can only be obtained, according to the Balinese, when balance is obtained. So how do you obtain balance? Well, the first thing one does is realize that anything put into the world, be it joy, anger, jealousy, unrest, negativity, love, light or forgiveness, has an answering effect: consequence.

Let's bring this to a place more immediate to our KStew world, our daily lives as Others. We can adore, admire and support Kristen, Rob, The Gos, and today's Featured Royal Johnny Depp without declaring a rift amongst fellow supporters. We can admire and support these actors and artists without hunting them down and depersonalizing them. Masjids (mosques) can be across the street from cathedrals. Fans and admirers of Kristen and Rob can coexist peacefully too. A hippieCali Therapist toeing the line of whimsy-punk (um, me) following no organized religion can marry and lovingly support her restless, intellectual, kind, Muslim husband (N), especially at the start of Ramadan (now).

ME

+

N

=

Coexistence. Balance.

C'mon, lovelies. If religions as old as time can seek coexistence, so can we. We can seek balance. We can give the space and privacy to our Other Queen Kristen and for Rob while they work. We can admire them and all the Other Rebels in an existence that doesn't trigger war. We can disagree and banter with fellow fans, but we can do so with respect...for ourselves and in representation of our Rebel Royals and Other Queens. We can give Kristen and Rob the privacy and space they've asked for, that they have all rights to. Let's give our girl and her guy some breathing room. And let's remind ourselves that whatever we put out there, can and will revisit us. The Balinese and Hindus call it Karma. It's also known as The Golden Rule: Do unto others...

taking a moment to breathe and ground

Reigning Other Queen: Kristen Stewart

(with a little help from brother Cam)

Other photos have surfaced since last Musings. These pictures are of the Vogue Italy 2007 photo shoot. We were given a peek of a 16 year-old-Kstew with one of her three championed brothers. Cameron is another perfect example of an Other, vigilantly protective of his younger sister, accompanying Kristen to photo shoots, film shoots and promotions. Tall and thoughtful, exuding a creative spirit and tattoos, Cam has often been referred to along with her other brothers (Dana and Taylor) as Kristen's best friend and provider of precious grounding and calm. Balance, one might say.

Offenses of Otherness:

**Cites her brothers as her best friends

**Is more comfortable in jeans & Chucks

vs Red Carpet Regalia.

**Visited a Holocaust Memorial

vs amusement parks on a promo tour

**Methods for balancing: Baking pies, cooking meals for family

Featured Rebel Royal:

Johnny Depp

Our beautiful featured Rebel this week is someone I alluded to a couple weeks ago. I promised you some Depp, and I follow through on promises (though I ask for some room when I am replying to your beautiful, brilliant emails, ok?). I can bring The Pretty to tie you over. So, Mr Depp is an American actor and musician known most prominently for portraying numerous crew members from the Mothership of Oddballs (YES! #GoTeamOdd) in his chosen movie roles. You may know him as Captain Jack Sparrow, Willy Wonka, Edward Scissorhands or, in my favorite example, as Roux from Chocolate. *Pausing to breathe deeply*. But before any of these seminal roles that made Johnny famous, those of us children of the 80's may remember watching him on our TV sets on 21 Jump Street.

yesssss.

As a child, Johnny and his family, which included 3 siblings, moved around frequently. He reports moving to 20 different locations before settling in Florida in his youth. According to Wikipedia, Johnny engaged in self-mutilating behaviors to cope with his insecurities. He referred to his numerous tattoos as "a journal" with "every mark having some special meaning" of an event in his life. He dropped out of high school to be a touring musician with his local band "The Kids", and never returned.

Unhappy with the "teen heartthrob" image that emerged as a result of his role on 21 Jump Street, Johnny began seeking film roles that would broaden his exposure to the work he truly sought. His first film role was in A Nightmare On Elm Street (scared the shit outta me, lemme tell ya), and he moved onto work in Oliver Stone's Platoon as a Vietnamese-speaking soldier, and ultimately to his first Tim Burton collaboration (i.e. GENIUS) of Edward Scissorhands. Of course, his role as Edward would mark his forays into playing the "Iconic Loners"and there really, was no looking back. He lives in France with his partner, actress and singer Vanessa Paradis, and their two children.

Offenses of Otherness:

**Admitted severe discomfort with the "teen idol" label

**Proclaimed that big studios 'never understood' those misfit roles

he would take on.

**Prefers an anonymous life, choosing to live abroad

**Methods for balancing: being with his children, playing guitar

Oh Brother, where art thou?

Like Kristen's view on her brothers, my brother Chew (you all learned of his brilliant existence from the very first Musings) is one of my favorite people in my world. I just this week shared with him my secret world of Musings and writing about The Stew while we were driving along the coast. I've had several of you readers write in saying that your family has no clue of your devotion to all things Kristen and Rob. Part of my mission to de-fragment and balance out my life, as initiated a few weeks ago, included outting myself as a Other Queen supporter to my family and 3D friends. I told my own tattooed, punky, surfing-and-hockey-playing big brother that he inspired a movement of Otherness and instead of chuckles and head shakes that I thought I would receive from him, he smiled and congratulated me.

Chew: "When your work is turned into a film screenplay, who plays me?"

Me: (after no hesitation), "Matthew Fox"

Chew: "Ok, well, he can act, but can he be a bastard?"

Perhaps my brother (who looks A LOT like Matthew Fox. I know, right? zzzing!) carries a little remorse for some of his torture inflicted upon me in our childhood. This includes stationing me in front of tall rose bushes in our backyard as "goalie", and proceeding to kick wet soccerballs in quick succession at my head. "BLOCK THIS!" he would scream at me, and being the little sister eager for inclusion, I would dive to block. DIVE...oh, motherfucker, I would DIVE, resulting in so many painful scratches over my face and arms for weeks. But we got through that. I now view my brother's opinion and his ideas as integral to balance, comfort and security.

No, we haven't seen a lot of Kristen and Rob lately, but we received a smiling confirmation that Kristen is well, and in the company of a friend who connects her with her partner Rob. And at the time of posting this essay, there have been sightings of Rob since his arrival in Montreal over the past two days, which makes me warm and content. I am pleased that Kristen has her grounding agents of Rob and Tom while she delves into a very complex role surrounding a very complex woman.

I encourage us all to continue exploring our methods for grounding and balance in the lulls of any Kristen or Rob news. Bake some pies. Go for soothing swims, exhilaration runs. Make music. Dance. Find your local masjid and commune with your Higher Power, just as N is this month for Ramadan. Remind yourself that every effort we make to release an emotion or intention into the world returns to us...in some way shape or form. Go be with your loved ones, your brothers, your sisters. Above all, be well.

Because I seek grounding from within, but also from connecting with my brother, even though he kicked soccer balls at my head in punishment, I am on the Other Homecoming Float.

Because he let his surefire ticket to stardom and fame in the form of a 21 Jumpstreet contract expire with no option for renewal, Johnny Depp is a Rebel Royal.

Because she knows exactly who to turn to for support, grounding and balance, even as her supportive network is photographed almost as much as she is, Kristen is our reigning Other Queen.

Johnny is Other.

Kristen is Other.

Others realize that anything put into the world,

answers back with the intent to balance.

Embrace your Other.

Question: What are your methods of balancing and grounding?

A/N: Thank you to the usual suspects: Team Other captains: Bouffant, Buff_82, and Cynically Convivial. To my Cyber Sisters/Readers including Julie, Nail, the Clog-Wielding Queen and my OTR Bestie Marble Pole. Thank you to you beauties on Twitter who make me laugh and supply me with the JawP0rn and my Stewie fixes (eyeing YOU @Greenangelice!). Thank you to the fanfiction writers (you know who you are, you hear from me and respond so kindly!) who have ruled my world and contributed to my complete refusal to live in reality. Dedicating this to my brother Chew and my husband N, the boys who bring me grounding and reminder of GOODNESS. I adore the letters and texts and emails you've all sent. I am stunned and awed by your beautiful words and courage. And again, thank you for your patience in my slow responses. See you all next Thursday.