Aphrodite and Kristen Go Against Code

What's A Girl To Do?

As alluded to in mini Musings earlier this week, I anticipated talking about Stewie Steeze, her generosity with fans, and possibly the power of women's relationships. Last night, I believed I was going to write about voluptuous beauties, slender sirens, misfit mayhem; goddesses, the Eclipse Red Carpet, or maybe The Kimmel Eclipse Special. However, while I will wave my hands in the air-uh like I just don't care-uh in homage to Kristen's surreal fashion tour de force of the past weeks, I also must address that Entertainment Weekly happened. I awoke this morning(Wednesday) after precious little sleep to an excerpt of an interview with Kristen and Rob and Taylor. Suddenly I found myself confronting the very reasons for the creation of this little blog...Searing criticisms, the shaming of Others, antiquated ideas of "beauty". Suffice to say, I got all kinds of...twitchy again.

Wind machines make me feel sexy too.

The excerpt chosen, featured Rob and Kristen and their address of the recent comment in which Kristen compared her experiences with the papparazzi (AKA AssClowns) to rape (see this very blog's June 10 Musings on the subject). Several events stood out at me as I scanned the brief piece: First, I thought Kristen was articulate and genuine in her response to the interviewer's inquiry into the controversy. Secondly, she very clearly acknowledged RAINN (Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network), the most vocal group demanding an apology from her. Plus she spoke of the significance the subjects of rape and abuse hold for her. Thirdly, Robert came to Kristen's defense, which earns him a quickie shout out as Rebel Honorable Mention today, a little later. Lastly, I noticed that Kristen and Rob demonstrated a great awareness for the double standards at work when she is involved. Specifically, fans and critics (Bullshit People, Witch Other Hunters) hold different standards and expectations for Rob and Kristen.

Rob stated the associations that criticized Kristen (including RAINN) over her rape comparison are doing so specifically to further their own agendas of publicity and notoriety. He asked for the online journos and associations demanding apologies and doling out judgments to be accountable professionally before they pounce.

Kristen replies: "See, if I had said that? Crucifixion. You can say so much more than me. It's insane." Earlier in the article she said: "I probably shouldn't say this, but I just feel like people got so excited once they saw it was me. It was like, 'Sweet! Let's get her!'"

Are people chomping at the bit to specifically hunt her down? Rob seems to think so. What did I see at the bottom of the brief EW preview? Already nearly one hundred commenters' reactions to the excerpt of an interview and these comments were quite critical. No, worse. The majority of comments were hateful. I won't go into specifics because I don't have the energy nor do I want to taint this supportive Kristen and Rob site with vileness. But I will share my observations. The majority of commenters both critical and supportive, presented themselves with female monikers. Also, I noticed that most comments were disproportionately supportive and defensive of Rob, but were incensed and enraged towards Kristen. She was called names [paraphrasing] such as: whiny, stupid, class-less, bitchy, poor-acting, ungrateful rich-girl and immature. But the man who defended KStew and called out the media opportunists was called "A Gentleman" and revered for cleaning up Stewart's messes ...again with deference and awe. Ummmmmmmm. Double standard much?

Leave the double standards and hypocrisy at the double lines

The Feminine Code

So I got to musing (it's kinda what I do). Why are other females so intent on tearing down fellow females? What is it about women that elicit such strong critical, brutal reactions from fellow females? What is it about Kristen Stewart particularly that provoke the most vicious vilification? According to Rachel Simmons' Odd Girl Out, an incredible case study of aggression in young women and the repercussions into adulthood, there are several contributing factors to female-on-female hostility. Three main factors are:

1. Confidence: If it's present, the surrounding females will see it, feel threatened by it. "Oh, she thinks she's All That!" 

2. Scarcity: A shortage of "deliciously handsome" companions? "You gonna take my man/friends/sister/lover/social status?"

3. Breaking the Feminine Code, which states that Girls Must:

a. Be modest b. Be self deprecating c. Be demure d. Be nice e. Put others before themselves f. Not be overly assertive g. Not be overly sexual in dress, speech or walk h. Not be argumentative i. Pretend she doesn't know the answers even when she does

Ah hell. If that is the Feminine Code (and it was when this book was published, approx

2004), no wonder our KStew is crucified. No wonder Other Queens and Rebel Royals are garnering so much attention. I look at the points and wonder, though, wouldn't we all be guilty of violating The Code? Aren't we Others the antithesis to those outdated Feminine Rules? Those of us who are opinionated, sometimes emotional, active in sports and/or debate team, lipstick-toting, confidence-sprouting, high-heel wearing, information-seeking souls are actually Rabble Rousers? Law Breakers?! Good Goddess, then Aphrodite, the Goddess of love, beauty, pleasure is quite the hellion!

Obvs, the Original Hussy

Studying Simmons' discoveries on aggression and "alternative [nonviolent, nonphysical, though more psychologically damaging] bullying," I might speculate that the particularly angry EW commenters were simply enforcing the Feminine Code. Perhaps, they were just acting as their evolutionary instincts seemed appropriate. MISSION: Eliminate potential threats to what has always been The Way of Life. Perhaps these female commenters were reminding Kristen, Aphrodite and the rest of us Others that we have Female Roles to fulfill in society. Wife. Mother. Demure, Good Girl. Graceful, Gracious Hostess. Below-the-Radar Companion. Kept.

Don't fret, Stewie, according to the enforcers of The Code,

you can be single maybe 3 or 4 more years before you should consider settling down.

I think back, and realize the Homecoming Queen nomination was the beginning of my conscious forays in Otherness, but I have made it a habit to not adhere to The Feminine Code, apparently. For one, I wore Doc Martens and knee-high fishnets under my dresses. I wore, and continue to wear tops and blouses that accentuate my impressive cha-chas. I never pretended to play mommy or play house when I was a little girl, though I had many friends who did. That was cool with me. I never wanted to get married. I didn't believe I would, as marriage did not feel like the right path for me. Firstly, my job as a marriage and child counselor left some deep wounds on my psyche. For another, I love world-gallivanting so much, I was never in one place long enough to cultivate and nurture long-distance romances. 


I grew up in a neighborhood that looked a little like The Cleavers', and I was blessed with several neighborhood kids my same age. They all got married and began popping out the pups as I pieced together monthly rent money and charted my travels to Europe in between psych internships. The cat that is now my husband fits nicely with me, because he has the wanderlust as strongly as I do. We met in Japan as I was en route to South Korea and The Philippines for a solo adventure. Kinda perfect, right?

How else am I smashing through the antiquated tenants of The Feminine Code? Well, even when I did marry, I wasn't considered "young". I was 29. That was two years ago. And whoa whoa whoa, hold up on the talk of breeding, mmmkay?

Truth. I don't cook. GASP. Listen, I can, I just choose not to. N, my hubs, is just discovering his talents in the kitchen. As I wrote this section, N whipped up a fresh batch of chicken curry and jasmine rice. Do you see me fighting this???? So, while he experiments with exotic ingredients to recreate entrees from his Southeast Asian homeland, I work my culinary wonder: Grilled Cheese Sandwiches. 
Fuck. 
That means not only am I an unemployed Other Queen, but I couldn't cook a pot roast if my life depended on it. *shrugs* Oh well. MISFIT. I recognize my kindreds in the following Other Royals...

Honorable Mention Royal: Rob Pattinson

Do I really need to introduce Mr Pattinson to you? This is just a little blurb, as he will be featured in a future Rebel Royal piece. Robert Thomas Pattinson was born and raised in London, England. A pianist, guitar player and singer first, Rob was considering a career in music when he decided to pursue an audition for a role in a little indie flick called Twilight. Colleagues and costars past and present describe Rob as kind, funny, brilliant, charming, contemplative and extremely talented. And, of course, The Pretty. He has so much of The Pretty. With his upcoming movies Bel Ami and Water for Elephants, he is just hitting his stride. Rob reported that he pursued the now-iconic role of Edward Cullen for the chance to work with Kristen Stewart. He had just watched her movie Into the Wild, and felt compelled to meet her in person. We understand, Rob, we do.

Hoodie Rob dazzles me.

ICU Sexspenders. WFE Rob will be my demise.

Like Kristen, I can make leaning look delicious

He tends to go rogue with his statements at press conferences or in interviews ("I'm allergic to Vaginas", anyone?), and word on the street is that he speaks up and argues when he feels his character or storyline faces unnecessary reconfiguration. He enjoys Hot Pockets and cold beer, and reads French classics. He admits he shouldn't ever drive a car, and that he steals clothes from movie sets when he hasn't done laundry. He looks as though he may burst at the seams in preventing himself from blurting his absolute adoration for Kristen, but somehow he keeps his lips zipped. Might be with the help of Bulldog PR Supervision when he's on the red carpet; It might be because Kristen has asked him to remain low-pro. Because he admits to being tremendously gawky and awkward, and writes songs about falling in love with a green-eyed girl, Rob Pattinson is Rebel Royalty.

Featured Royal Rebel: Christina Hendricks

Christina Hendricks may not be on everyone's radar in the Twi fandom, but she has definitely caught the attention of Team Other, and she should be celebrated widely. She is best known for playing Joan Holloway on Mad Men of cable TV. Those of us who are Joss Whedon/Buffy/Dollhouse/Firefly friends may recognize Ms Hendricks as Saffron from the short-lived TV show Firefly. Her character on Mad Men is as an office manager mentoring other women in how to navigate the come-ons and harassment by the men in their 1960's advertising firm. She is gloriously curvaceous, as evident by her impressive bustline. She is proud of her voluptuous form, stating that she aims to keep on any weight gained because she that is when she "glows" and feels "truly beautiful".

One might say she bears resemblance to another famous curvaceous beauty, already mentioned in this post.

Beauty Marks: 1. Curvaceous body 2. Confident in self esteem: "I gained 15 lbs in Italy when I was modeling. That's when I really felt like a woman" 3. Did not listen to her agents when they told her she had to lose weight to get work. 4. Was voted World's Sexiest Woman 2010 by Esquire magazine's female readers.

Offenses of Other-ness: (Per AssClowns, Code Enforcers, Other-Hunters) See Beauty Marks above. 


Men say the best reason to watch TV is Christina Hendricks. Women polled elected her as sexiest woman for 2010 throuh Esquire Magazine. She is in her mid-thirties, is not a size 2, and she especially excels at milking cows, per a People Magazine interview. People constantly approach her and give her backhanded compliments such as, "you're so much smaller in person!" She knows that there critics out there who call her fat and fugly, but she prefers to use synonyms for the word "beautiful" instead. Because she told Esquire readers to use words "radiant" and "enchanting" more, Christina is an Other Queen.

Reigning Other Queen: Kristen Stewart

Our Queen has had an eventful week as she prepares for the premiere of Eclipse. She and Taylor toured Europe at a punishing pace, hitting Rome, Italy first.

Beauty Marks: 1. Tells her truth even if it pisses people off  2. Has a growing confidence in herself. "I feel less bare, that nobody can take anything from me now". 3. She recognizes the double standard at what's expected of her, and what's expected of her male colleagues. 4. She recognizes that she is young and emotional. "I make mistakes. I use the wrong words."

Ich liebe dich, Berlin!

Offenses of Other-ness: (Per AssClowns, Code Enforcers, Other-Hunters)  
See Beauty Marks above. 
In the recent slew of press conferences and interview junkets, Kristen has little by little revealed peeks into her world. She reports being very boring and if she had her choice, she'd stay home with her cat Jella. She made a wonderful statement about her generation's view on Marriage, which is generally to "cringe" and avoid thinking about it. But in Other-like fashion, Kristen amended, "I think it's cool...that if you're in the right place it could be the right thing for you". She also mentioned that she is motivated to continue working in her field because she is "happy, and not lying to anybody". She is happy to be on her path, an authentic path. She is feeling less vulnerable, and more confident. She is a radiant sight. 

Chucks and Keds. Sign 'em please?

legggggs

Something's working, cuz Girlfriend is aglow. 

This is from tonight, back home in L.A.

Or....Maybe THIS is why she's aglow? Look! Its two of our Rebel Royals together!!

I cannot tear my eyes away. They're like the most photogenic pair. Evah.

Other Divinity

Because I got married at the ripe old age of 29, years after most my friends and relatives had already started families; plus, I never took to cooking meals, I am an Other Queen.

Because Christina laughed away the fact that web communities formed with the sole purpose of analyzing her curves, and convincing her to lose weight, she is an Other Queen.

Because Rob steals clothes from the set instead of doing laundry, and because he will publicly defend his beloved green-eyed girl when she is under attack, he is Rebel Royalty.

Because she confesses she could be like the "Crazy Cat Lady", and because she speaks her truth without censure, Kristen is Reigning Other Queen. 

Rob is Other

Christina is Other

Kristen is Other.

Others celebrate 15 lbs gained, and are crowned The Sexiest.

Embrace Your Other

Question: How do you break the mould implemented byThe Code?

A/N: Mad Love to: @Buff_82 for PreReading and encouraging me always. To my sister Puss for keeping me anchored in this world, and for contributing Extraordinary to my arsenal of Other Synonyms. To my Constant (Julie) who holds my hand as I sob my way to the other side, every week before posting. To my new friend @Evalola80 who so sweetly requested the Musings On Other update schedule. To Marble Pole for thoughtfully making executive decisions. To my SISTERS and READERS who nourish me in so many ways. Shout outs to my Possum Besties @Ophelia2010 and @Justice_Aussie who I miss chatting with. To @MissBettySmith who always reminds me to speak my truth.

A Musings Moment

Well, hello there, lovelies. Happy Monday. Its 3:30AM where I am, and while I should be sleeping, I am awake since I slept away the day in a flu-haze. Yes, it's true. For the weekend, I was in pj's, sipping chicken soup and reading fan fic in between fever spikes. When I awoke tonight after my three and a half hour nap, I thought two things:  1.)  Oh my Jeebus, these new pictures of Rob, a favorite and future featured Rebel Royal, are going to be the death of me:

I used to love hammocks. Now I lust for hammocks. 

I'd say the new haircut is working out all righty, then, yes? gulp. 

And 2.) I think I may need to watch myself, for I'm a little in love with Cold and Flu Medications. Ahem.  *Insert Announcer's voice: The subject of gratuitous over-the-counter drug usage is not appropriate for time or place. Moving. on*

So this isn't a full vintage KJ Musing session, where you have to take bathroom and stretch breaks as you plow through. This is just a little moment, what have you, while I share with you what I foresee this week inspiring. I am doing this little Musings Moment for a few reasons:

Firstly a lovely lady from the UK whom I adore writes me and says,"Obvs no pressure. But I kinda love your blog. When will you update again?" 


I facepalmed a minute because I realized that I hadn't told YOU lovelies what my writing schedule is, despite the fact that I've held myself to one for several weeks now. Bear with me, I've only been doing this for three weeks. Please accept my apologies for my idiocy in not communicating some of these details earlier. So, flashback to the tee shirt (i.e. entire reason for Musings On Other's Existence) that I told you about in the first essay:

Kj Is Other. 

And then envision another tee shirt to reflect my favorite day of the week:

Thursday Is Other. 

So Thursday is my intended weekly update day. Groovy? My original plan was to write once a week, highlight a new Royal Rebel, and talk a little about life, love, unconventional beauty and KStew. So far, three entries in, I've done all right. The mind-numblingly flattering response received so far for Musings On Other, however, has nearly rendered me speechless. I said "nearly". Let's not get ahead of ourselves. 

A second reason I wanted to post something today, is to empty my poor head out, and put the brainstorm on paper. This week, while already brimming with legendary promise (um, a little movie called Eclipse is premiering, and the cast is on Jimmy Kimmel), has been ripe with teachable moments in my real life--I am reveling in the power of women's friendships, conversation and motivation to dance in the bubbles and follow the bliss. Also, our Reigning Other Queen Kristen has just killed the Eclipse promo tour, with her fashion choices, her poise, and her generosity with fans. I actually have too much to talk about! And we all know how long my musings can go, even when I'm focused!  So this Thursday, I'll most likely pay homage to Kristen Stewart's fashion promo ownership and fashion steeze:

Doesn't this look like the picture that comes in the frames when you buy them?

Oscar. de. la. Renta.  C'mon! 

I'll also probably talk a little about Kristen's unbelievable generosity when interacting with fans. Her critics, The Bullshit People, as she and we deemed them in the last essay, have charged Kristen with being unfriendly, ungracious and standoffish towards her fans. Not according to this jewel of a video:

I see a generous, sensitive girl who went out of her way to meet and speak with fans who waited days for her in Berlin. Did you see her running away from her car, towards the fans, almost shyly, as if she knew she would get admonished for it?  Did you see her do it anyway? uh. huh. OTHER QUEEN in the hizzouse.

A third reason for this Musings Moment (though, yes, I realize I've blown past "momentary" about 10 minutes ago. I'm wrapping up, swears), is to say that I'm excited about some potential contributions occurring in the near future. My beta and dear friend Bouffant00 is a brilliant writer and researcher. And in following her bliss, and embracing her Other, she is writing a piece for Musings about Other Queens Forgotten...Rebels of Yore. I'm very excited to see what B comes up with, because some of the Other Queens she's considered? legend...In the same league as one Ms Joan Jett, even. Also, though she hasn't completely agreed yet, I am hoping soon to create a collaborative Musings post, a conversation if you will, with the luminous CC of @KStewsBtrthanU regarding following our bliss and encountering Queen KStew's many gifts along the journey. Lots of loveliness ahead, that's all I'm saying.

Until Thursday, please continue to enjoy the onslaught that is the RobP0rn, and Eclipse Promo footage. Kristen and Taylor are wrapping up their international tour in Sweden as I write this. Set your DVR's for Wednesday's Kimmel Special Eclipse Show:

And please keep coming up with awesome synonyms for OTHER that do not indicate WRONG. 
Some favorites you've come up with:

Misfit   Rebel   Eccentric   Free   Hellion    Brave   Quirky

Keep 'em coming, keep 'em coming. 

I am Other.

Thursday is Other.

Kristen is Other.

Embrace your Other.

Miracle Bubbles: The Beauty in Just Being

Can We Just Be?

Your ears may still be ringing. Maybe you caught a little glimpse on TV. It's that time again, friends. The Twilight media blitz is barreling through again and it started this weekend. Beginning on Saturday, Kristen, Robert and Taylor were out in full force, promoting Eclipse for the Los Angeles-based press conference and Twilight Convention, or TwiCon. You may still hear whispered sighs, post-TwiCon climax, if you are remotely close to the state of California. Our Reigning Other Queen Kristen appeared confident, stunningly beautiful, of course, and very notably, at ease and very assured in speaking about her alter-ego Bella Swan and Bella Swan's growing confidence. A girl coming into her own? A beautiful sight to behold.

I know, right?

So of course, because KStew Provokes The Ponder, I began to conjure this week's post as soon as she stepped up to the microphones at the morning press conference. Truth is, Kristen, Rob, Taylor, separately and in different configurations of the three provided so many UNF moments, squee worthy moments, and kernels of goodness, I was confuzzled as to where I should focus my attentions first, or ultimately. I considered talking about the ecstasy of finding a kindred spirit, as evident with The Bubble:

we know someone's talking, but all we hear is bwah wah wah wuh uh

Then I thought I'd shake my head at how the crafty media used the shifting themes of Eclipse to ask Rob and Kristen about their views on marriage and children...with each other. Was reeeeally tempted with that one, not gonna lie. I could have mentioned, and in fact I WILL mention how beautiful and poised Kristen appeared throughout the grueling 2-day junket/conference. But for seriously: that went without saying. And now because I can, I'll post these pictures:

But it wasn't until I watched a portion of her press conference that I decided on what I would write. Kristen was asked which traits she admired about in Bella. Kristen's answer implied how she related to Bella:

"She completely picks on herself too much. It's aggravating...She can't just be a girl. She cant' just be. Just be. I can completely relate to that"

I was suddenly overwhelmed with the enormity of Kristen's situation when I reconciled how exposed she is to the elements. Not only does she have ravenous photographers, Twatterazzi and movie critics ready to weigh in on her inferior breathing techniques, but she has her own internal critic harping away too. This is why KStew rocks my socks off. She very clearly represents Other. She does the unexpected. She presents as a genuine, laid back chica. She keeps her freakin cool even knowing that every word that slips from her mouth will be analyzed, dissected and then republished at least twenty-five-HUNDRED times in varying, ok, miniscule degrees of accuracy. Let's talk critically about critics, shall we???

The Other Queen is Unemployed

It's true. While I may consider myself royalty, it is not due to any monetary mark or abilities to travel across the lands on a Queen's tour. This may be the longest time period I've ever gone without work, since I was seventeen years old. Six months ago, I was living in a rural community, the antithesis of my metropolitan upbringing, working as a manager of a small counseling team. This counseling team would drive massive distances to bring mental health counseling, support, empowerment and coping skills to families who couldn't come to our offices, entailing up to 50 mile drives for myself or my counseling team. I would often meet with homeless clients in parking lots of shelters, at parks in the middle of orange groves to sit down and talk life. The benefits of this job included working with some of the kindest, smartest and most compassionate beings in this world; collaborating alongside one of my dearest and oldest friends who is an obscenely gifted psychologist; earning enough money so that my fairly new husband and I (we were finishing our first year of marriage) could live in a modest house with a dishwasher. No seriously, the prize was the damn dishwasher for my city-apartment-dwelling ass. Well, the dishwasher and the fact that my heart was full.

because I had a garbage disposal

AND

a dishwasher once upon a time

The drawbacks included working for corrupt, burnt-out and unethical company leaders; 24/7 on-call status for crisis pages; and next-door inhabitants who most definitely were not voters in my favor on The Other Homecoming Queen ballot. My "neighbors" most definitely saw my tanned skin, almond shaped eyes, nose piercings, Kerouac-totin' Otherness as alien, odd, threatening. Don't even get me started on how they regarded my Southeast Asian, worldly, brilliant and Koran-reading husband. *deep breath* Anyhoo, because mental health is not a priority to our society, I found myself one of the first casualties of the budget cuts, and all the hours I'd wished to sleep in, all the arguments with greedy suits I'd wish to end, did. Abruptly. I became jobless within a four minute phone call (yes, they did it by phone while I was away in SoCal caring for my mother post-surgery), and I was spinning.

Here's the dealio. All my schooling, thesis writing-then-defending and skills earned during grueling shit-for-stipend internships were rendered unusable at this time. What did I do upon hearing I needed to get back to the office and pack my shit up? I cried about 3 tears. I went to 7-11 Convenience Store with a high school bestie, and bought a 32 oz Slushie, a pack of Marlboro lights, and bottle of Miracle Bubbles. (That's the name of the brand, btw, not that they can make you regain sight when you're blind...at least, I hadn't seen any reports saying so).... I sat in the passenger seat of my friend's SUV, with the window down, driving along Pacific Coast Highway (PCH), with my arm out the window.... You may have seen me. My black curly hair whipped around wildly, and in my wake...bubbles....

I smoked two cigarettes, which was plenty for me, as I had stopped smoking a year earlier, sipped my Wild Cherry Slushie and danced around in the bubbles I blew for thirty minutes of unhindered joy. This is why: I hated the neighborhood I had brought my sensitive and kind husband to live in. I loathed the Tossers who were balancing numbers in their offices, telling me that they could not fund art supplies for my clients who had no crayons or construction paper (or running water sometimes), all while said Tossers left their air-conditioned offices via their luxury sedans at 5PM sharp. And, most startlingly: I desperately missed the joyous interaction of creative living. See, in my spare time (endangered species, I know) I dabble in music, and I guess I'm a kinda writer. I'm a seeker of Creative Bliss. But the past five years, and certainly since assuming the manager position of that soul-sucking company in the middle of BastardNation, I cased my guitar, sold my keyboard, and shelved my writing notebooks. In all honesty, I had taken the managerial position with the counseling agency because I was trying to be "responsible". I was trying to appease The Critics. The Should-ers. Our Reigning Queen Kristen would refer to these soul-destroying, Other-Hunters as The Bullshit People.

How many of you feel your inner critics

clawing out of your skulls

trying to straighten this frame?

My life as Kj, the Therapist and Program Manager was in direct relation to my avoidance and acquiescence that The Critic was correct. The Critic told me that it was ridiculous for me to consider taking a break from practicing therapy in order to write travel essays. That it was ludicrous to believe the musical tracks I'd recorded with brilliant musicians, that had been accepted onto a small movie soundtrack might be the key to my heart's happy dance. The Critic even cautioned me in applying to Doctors Without Borders to volunteer counseling to my husband's ancestors, who were suffering in extreme poverty in southeast Asia. So while BastardNation may have initially pushed me into the depths of despair, I quickly rallied back and flipped the Double-Bird, KStew-Style to my Critic. Because guess what? The Critic can be wrooooooong.

I don't think I'll ever tire of this picture.

The internal dialogue went something like this:

Kj: Holy Shit! I'm out of a job! Fuck. I'm scared. No. Fuck, I'm FREE! I don't have to return to a job where I was dying.

Critic: You dumbass. Whatcha gonna do now? Gypsy around again with a duffel bag in your car? You can't push your damn piano everywhere, and it's been years since you've even tuned your guitar.

Kj: Well, why the hell would I go back to something that was depleting my soul?

Critic: You moved your husband to BastardNation, only to get your ass laid off. You have no money.

Kj: Well, I'd happily work for OhDreamOn and Cascadega in fighting the good fight on critical-Kristen internet discussion boards. I'd bring coffee and hold their hair back as they dive in swinging.

Critic: Hmm. I agree, it'd be a fuckawesome job. ODO and Cas are in the trenches, snark and brilliance ablaze. Maybe you could make them your other-worldly grilled cheese sandwiches. That might tempt them.

Kj: *small voice* Until then, I have a penchant for writing. And singing. And I'm kinda fierce at playing piano.

Critic: Mom is going to kick you in the bunghole. You didn't go to a private grad school and study years for licensure to be a open-mic-night pan handler.

Kj: But I feel such bliss when I think about writing, singing, creating.

Critic: (long pause). You did always say that Psychology was Plan B. You've given ten years to Plan B. You've never committed to anything that long. Props, K. Plan A has been neglected long enough.

Kj: Thanks for saying so, Inner C. Let's ignore the fact that I recount full transcripts of my convos with The Voices. Have some chocolate.

Critic: Let's kum-ba-yah this bitch right now.

Critics' Corner

Who is The Critic for you? The Critic as I've encountered, whispers at me to remain cautious and weary of any sudden movement or change. The Critic is different than it's cousin, the Conscious. Freudians may call it The Superego but the less on Freud the better, in my opinion, mmmkay? So while the Conscious serves to protect us and initiate self-preservation in potentially life-endangering situations, The Critic can be an aggressive little bitch. The Critic seeks perfection from me, highlights my flaws and lapses in wisdom, shoots down ideas seemingly too fanciful. The Critic can take on certain tones of voices such as motherly disapproval (Oh, Kj! How do I explain this to your grandmother??), to cruel playground taunting (na na na na na na, you're STOOPID!) and spiteful, jealous female coworkers (You, Slutty McWhores-A-lot, will never look good in that dress. YES, it's obvious you've gained weight).

Obviously, the filter through which the Witch-Hunters oops, I mean, Other-Hunters/Should-ers/Bullshit People view us are numerous, and stem from a variety of contributing factors. From a feminist-based point of view: Demonizing of Other can occur when a woman does not choose to be a mother or a wife at a given point in time; or, when a woman wears clothing that draws attention to her body. Basically, Others could be hunted down and shamed simply for not fulfilling roles that society has designated as such. Also, unwanted speculation/evaluation can arise when you're a member of a particular village or tribe. In Asian cultures, it is frowned upon when an individual becomes more noticeable than his family as a whole.

The Royal Misfits featured in today's post are Rebel Queens, both gloriously stunning, and both navigating their own internal critic, but also the reality of true critics and commentators spewing narratives about any twitches, blinking, snags, eye rolls they may or may not display. Additionally, there are plenty of reviewers who receive money and fame themselves for giving their opinion on how well these Other Queens execute their chosen professions.

Rebel Royalty: Kate Winslet

The exquisite Kate Winslet is already a bit of a legendary Other Queen, introduced to the public's awareness when she was 16 years old in Heavenly Creatures portraying a young school girl with lesbian leanings and murderous plans. Sweet. Sounds like my kinda girl. She further embedded in cultural consciousness with her first Oscar-nominated turn in the lovely Austen classic (and one of my personal favorite movies) Sense and Sensibility. Of course, she became our original Fierce One, Ambitious Romantic when she starred in the Essential, penultimate romance Titanic opposite equally stunning Leonardo DiCaprio. I could detail her phenomenally impressive professional successes (HELLO, SHE OWNED ME IN ETERNAL SUNSHINE), and we'd be here for days, but I wanted to highlight some reasons why Ms. Winslet is Rebel Royalty. She is known to be unfiltered, blunt, outspoken and passionate, especially in the area of self-image and body awareness. She is gloriously curvaceous and she proudly wears the badge of Ambassador of Voluptuousness. She also drops the F-bomb copiously (adding to her allure in my eyes), but she pulls it off because she has the lilting, seductive British accent, which basically means, everything she says is Aural Porn.

Fuck. I'm such a fucking catch

Kate on her Critics:

"You know why I fear people's judgement?" Because I know they're judging. I KNOW they are"

"I'll drop my kids off at school. And I can FEEL the other moms just checking me out. 'Oh my GOD. There is no secret [to getting perfect skin]. I have makeup on'"

"You really have to not give a fuck about what people think of you.You have to be prepared to look stupid"

Beauty Marks/Rave Reviews: 1. "Electrical, bruising vulnerability" (Rolling Stone) 2. "Lights up every single scene she is in." (Washington Post) 3."She possesses a pure gift" (Sam Mendes, Director/ex-husband) 4. "She is the best actress of her generation" (Leonardo DiCaprio, Co-star, Bestie) 5. "She is one of the finest actresses working today" (New York Times)

My chaise lounge is better than any seating you have, I'm pretty sure.

Other Offenses/Critical Conditions: Per AssClowns, Cultural/Fashion Commentators, Critics KATE: 1. Is chubby 2. Lies about her exercise regime 3. Trivialized the Holocaust by displaying nudity in the film The Reader 4. Purposefully omitted thanking the producer H Weinstein in her Oscar acceptance speech. 5. Called GQ Magazine out for airbrushing photos of her, falsely presenting that Winslet was 30 lbs thinner than she actually is

Because she refuses to let Hollywood dictate how her body should look; because she knows her Critics can be wrooooong; and because she is brazenly outspoken about encouraging women to accept their own idea of physical beauty, Kate Winslet is Rebel Royalty.

Reigning Rebel Royalty: Kristen Stewart

When we separate what we think we know about KStew's professional persona away from what we think we know about her personal persona, the contrast is startling. Most of Kristen's criticism seems to hone in on her wrongly assumed disinterest for the adjunct (tedious) activities of her job: press conferences and junkets, posing, red carpet jaunts. In her every day life, she is twenty years old, with over twenty movies completed already. She has a close-knit bond with her family, a love of animals, and a ridonk taste in music ( SHE PUT TOGETHER THE ECLIPSE SOUNDTRACK, I'm almost 100% sure). She has a small circle of loyal friends, and a bevy of admiring current and past costars.

Oh jeebus, Kristen. My contemplative silences are a hot mess.

Yours are not.

Kristen on her Critics:

"I'm not miserable. I'm literally, sometimes trying to keep myself from crying. I'm reacting physically to the energy thrown at me"

"They think I'm nervous, uncomfortable, awkward--and I am--but those are bad words for them"

"I'm telling you, I don't know anybody who does this that gives a shit more than I do. ..nobody cares more than I do"

Beauty Marks/Rave Reviews: 1. "Stewart gives a nuanced, complex performance in Welcome to the Rileys" (Elle Magazine) 2. "Stewart is engaging, charismatic, smart, pretty" (Flaunt) 3. "Kristen is the best actor of her generation" (Robert Pattinson, co-star and twin soul) 4. "Stewart exudes a quiet sexiness and an understated vulnerability such that you can’t help but fall in love with her" (re:Adventureland, Film.com) 5. "Who knew she had these notes? I'm discovering an important actress." (Roger Ebert, legendary movie critic)

Its very difficult for someone

to truly look in the mirror,

for fear of what they see.

Kristen puts on a sparkling dress

and faces mirrors. Hourly.

Other Offenses/Critical Conditions: Per AssClowns, Cultural/Fashion Commentators, Bullshit People, KRISTEN: 1.Is Awkward and gawky and weird. 2. Is trying too hard be overly serious. 3. Pretends to be smart when she is not. 4. Swears like a trucker 5. Is trying too hard to be rebellious and badass.

this picture makes me ache

Kristen has a wicked collection of Louboutins. I fail to see the demonized Other here. I simply see Queen. And because this just came in as I was finishing up these musings....Happy RomeStew. Critics can be so wrong.

Other Offenses? Freckles.

Miracle Bubbles

Because I had a kumbaya with my inner critic upon finding myself jobless in BastardNation, though dancing amidst Miracle Bubbles.... I've kept myself in the running for Other Queen court.

Because Kate Winslet demanded an apology from GQ for falsely representing her true bodyshape, she is Rebel Royalty.

Because Kristen Stewart endured two full, consecutive days of press junkets, The BullShit People, and a Twilight Convention, all while in super high heels? Reigning Other Queen. Lifetime.

Unemployed Kj is Other.

Kate is Other.

Kristen is SO Other.

Others dance and live among Miracle Bubbles, with their Twin Souls

Embrace Your Other.

Question: Who is YOUR worst critic and how do YOU Kumbaya?

A/N: As always: Bouffant00, my sister, my beta, pre-reader, you are the wind beneath my wings. To the beautiful Buff_82, if I could be one tenth as beautiful and bad ass as you are, I could die a happy girl. Thank you for putting up with my incessant chatter and wonky. @KStewsbtrthanu My lovely girl. My Pied Fucking Piper. You play your tune, I follow, entranced. You have never led me astray. Thank you for musing with me late nights, and for subjecting yourself to airport security just to give me a hug and a quick rundown of the encounter with JawPorn. Flove you. I would have gladly missed my flight to squee with you a bit more. To my Cyber Sisters and Readers: You girls are a constant source of amazement. You humble me every day. Special ShoutOuts to: Marble Pole, I hold you closer; Goldeneye for encouraging me; IndiaMom and Bells for being strong, fierce Other Queens during these dark times. And to Kate who chatted with me about Moms and such. You must have brought The Muse with you.