The Beginnings of Beauty

A/N: Push Play on the GrooveShark Playlist, the music doesn't start automatically with these dudes. Gonna try them out since Playlist has been leading me to pull out my hair. All Hawaii Scenic pics are taken by my uber talented hubs N. 

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I'm going to be frank. This is gonna be a long-assed post. Take your stretch breaks, use the restroom, hopefully you packed some munchies (or a cooler of meat patties, if you're Taylor). I have copious amounts of Musings I want to talk about today, and I'm admittedly overwhelmed. I didn't sit down to write this post until late last night, when instead I should have been finishing it and handing it over to my brilliant previewers. I tossed around the idea of making this a two-parter. I still may do that. Also, today's essay will probs deviate a bit from it's typical structure. But nonconformity is what we Misfit Hellions swear by, right? Ah, well, anyhoo, a couple events occurred this week, prompting my already full head to become inundated with topics to address. Firstly, I returned from Kauai, aka my little slice of Heaven, while still battling a sinus/cold from hell. Then I peek into my emails and glance at my tweets briefly, to learn that one of our beloved Royal Rebels attempted to go home for some rest and self care, but his efforts were thwarted by vulture-paparazzi. Its disturbing anytime to witness the Vultures circling prey; however, it was especially jarring to process the scene as I was emerging from my peaceful island sanctuary. I felt my stomach drop to my toes and I felt such sadness on behalf of Rob and Kristen and all folks who contend with the incessant hounding by exploitive, merciless papz. Between Kauai, Rob's stand against the paparazzi and my return to the Mainland to begin preparations for the launch of my "magical little practice" at The Healing Center, I felt compelled to think back to The Beginning...

Rob: KJ, could you PLEASE ask the vultures to kindly 

leave me be?

Me: Oh, Rob, I'll do anything you ask...

As soon as I regain consciousness.

*thud*

Rob: *glances at the KJ pile at his feet*

Well, let's see if I can entertain those lurking Vultures...

Mirror, Mirror

Last week in my Muselet, I already knew what I'd write about for today's Musings, mentioning that I would go back to The Beginning of Beauty as I have known it...and naturally my mind began to relive my journey of discovering the supreme legacy that is our Ambassador of Other Kristen Stewart...And the beginning of Musings On Other Queens. This week's posting marks two months of Musings, somehow. You guys, I have been completely bowled over by the generously kind responses from YOU. I still cannot believe that you come back and peek into my weekly ramblings. And that you contact me to tell me your stories of embracing your Other!  Even last week, when I was away slowing my roll, you all sent me descriptions of your Happy Places, and let me tell you, I love what you do to initiate self care, and I want to join you in your Happy Places! So since we're marking the ridonk successful innaugural months of Musings, and I was in the place that began it all for me, I wanted to share with you all how Musings, outside of The Homecoming Queen Experience, was born. Hawaii serves as the catalyst for a more global understanding of Beauty for me. Let me tell you why...Well, besides the obvs...

I may have alluded to it once before, but I haven't stated it outwardly before here on Musings. I am adopted. My biological makeup is comprised of Southeast Asian Islander, and Latino Islander, but my adoptive family is of Swiss and German descent. I have had the most loving, warm, accepting  upbringing possible, with the greatest family. I recognize how blessed I am, I truly do. But I can only say, as a child of multi-ethnic backgrounds, and/or adoption can: that there is always, always a floating, nebulous feeling of searching for more, a better fit, even when everything else is right in the world. So, after my first appalling (at least to me as a fourteen-yr old girl) experience of being called out for being An Other Homecoming Queen (revisit the very first Musings ever, all of eight weeks ago, to relive that crowning moment of Other Queen awakening) I finally began to understand the true gift of being Other when I removed myself from the usual surroundings, and ventured out, beyond my personal comfort zones. 

I was eighteen years old, a freshman in college and fashion was in the waning years of "grunge" and the emergence of "goth". I hovered somewhere in between the two. In the meantime, I was a hostess at a restaurant that catered to clientele averaging in the age of 55, but the view was gorgeous of the ocean, and I crushed on fellow servers and bartenders, so I was groovy. I had successfully evaded having a boyfriend as well as that damned Homecoming Queen Nomination. My puffy hair was constantly toeing the line of being called TRIANGLE, and the CDs on rotation in my walkman (pre-iPod days, folks) were Tori Amos, Pearl Jam, Sublime, Pixies and The Beatles.  This Other Queen in Training with Geometric Hair, brownie skin tone, the propensity for knee socks, and flowing dresses joined three girlfriends on a Ladies Only Getaway to Hawaii. The gals accompanying me were my physical antitheses. These beauties had blonde streaked hair, light eyes, legs for days.  They were, in essence, The Classic California Girls. 

trufax. they kinda looked like this.

And we were heading into a land that purported and enjoyed residual images like this in the 1950s:

Legit. 1950's Pin Up girl "representing" Hawaii

And here was...me...not so pale, of course, I AM Asian AND Hispanic, y'know...With an afro, kohl-lined eyes, and Marlboro Lights:

awwwwkwarrrrd.

The trip WAS, and forever shall be deemed for me, The Birthplace of Beauty. Not only did I taste true independence and rental car driving for the first time, but I experienced a welcoming embrace and celebration of all the characteristics and quirks that I had kept on the DL. Please do not assume I am solely speaking of physical characteristics, even though they are obviously what I can use to describe the differences. As you know, we Others are Rebellious Mayhem-makers more for our internal propensities, than we are our outward appearances--though we can shock with our physical looks as well, NO DOUBT. But I'll describe some of my own characteristics up for evaluation.  My puffy, curly hair, my rounded nose, my almond-shaped eyes, my penchants for walking barefoot, like ALWAYS, if I wasn't in Chucks; my need to stand on the sand alone; my almost-dysfunctional love of rice and salt; my impulses to twirl in circles and run through patches of flowers? Yeah, it kinda all seemed like the way to roll when in the islands. In Oahu and Maui, I'd walk down a street that looked like this:

and luminous, Other-worldy people who looked like this--quite possibly without the ukeleles--

approached me, looked me in the eyes, whispered warm greetings in Hawaiian, and welcomed me HOME. I spoke last week of being an Island Girl by blood, this is why. Because while I may have been "odd", "exotic", "unusual and unconventional" back where I lived in Southern Cali, I apparently fit the Standard of Beauty in Hawaii. And it only laid the groundwork for future cultural research and spiritual soothing in which I would encounter several years later in my travels through Europe, and most importantly Southeast Asia, and my motherland, The Philippines. I understood, in those quiet moments of interaction with strangers in Hawaii, that there is not one, specified concept of Beauty. There are hundreds, maybe thousands of definitions of Beauty...But I'd fit at least ONE of them. And I would do what I could to support and defend every one of us, including Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson from Vultures and BullShit people trying to tell us otherwise.

N & I, prepared to Defend our fellow Others. 

Our matching Hawaiian bracelets look like superhero cuffs, don't they?

Finding Twilight, You and Us: 

Seeing a couple of pictures, and only hearing about (because I refused to watch the video) the conundrum the Vulture-papz caused for Rob this past weekend, I was transported Back to the Beginning of Musings. When had I become such a public KStew and RPattz supporter?! How did I somehow get clumped (incorrectly in some cases) with the millions of Twi-fans that were emerging from the woodworks? Where were you when you first fell under the Twilight Spell?? 

I was a fan of the Twilight books, one of those folks who had actually read the books first before Twilight the movie was released in theaters in 2008. I had been bed-ridden for six weeks in recovery from knee surgery and one of my cool hipster girlfriends came to have lunch with me. She had dark circles under her eyes and she was yawning. She told me in hushed tones, eyes darting around her, that she was up all night finishing a book...and she whispers "Twilight". I didn't laugh and point at her, though I did giggle conspiratorially with her, since I eyed the books every time I went into Borders (which if it were up to me, would be a daily requirement), but never picked up a copy. My beautiful, cool hipster friend's endorsement of the books and my happening to have a lot of time on my hands convinced me I needed a little Twilight in my life. I knew a movie was coming out, and I knew Robert Pattinson was in it...Hello, Harry Potter Fan here, friends. I knew Cedric Diggory, and I recognized him instantly in a trailer I saw earlier in the year. Ok, well, I read the books, including Breaking Dawn in  about 5 days, and my insatiable thirst spilled over to the internet. Wanna know what I found, that forever changed everything??

Oh so young and unscathed then

Yesssss. The legend. The myth. The April 22, 2008 on-set Twilight interview with Larry Motha-effin Carroll on MTV. I knew instantly, not from my practice as a psychotherapist, not from any tabloid jabbering (though of course, that came in spades, later) that these two individuals, Robert and Kristen, were twin souls, and their chemistry was UH-MAY-ZING. So while I was a Twilight book reader first, I found myself observing the actors, their static electricity and resonating with them as people long after I had finished the text. More Googling led me to bios on Kristen Stewart (Hey, I DO remember that little girl from Panic Room!) and of course Rob...Pictures of the two of them like this:

um. Sorry, were you talking to us? 

can't hear yoooooou.

uh-huh. unf.

Naturally, I was led to the major gossip reporting sites who clearly were compelled in the same indescribable manner that I was, but I noticed the division pretty quickly. There were folks who really really really worshipped Rob...and greatly admired Kristen, and loved the idea that there was something more than friendship between the two. Then I saw sites dedicated passionately to the cause of tearing down these two, as a couple and as individuals. I was stunned. I didn't understand it. I couldn't comprehend that people hated these young actors, and disproportionately KRISTEN, with the vile intensity of a thousand suns. I steered clear of those sites, and found a group of posters that regularly commented on and discussed the Twilight filming schedule, and Rob and Kristen as actors and perhaps "more than just best friends". Fast forward two years later, and here I still am,  passionately defending these lovely people against not just slanderous attacks on the franchise of which they are apart, but for the personal characteristics that are of decidedly OTHER persuasion that they very clearly EMBRACE.

And to the attackers, haters, vultures, BullShit People, Critics, Bat-shit Insane "Not-A-FANs" I say: HELL TO THE NAH. Because a public attack and hunting down of two OTHER REBELS is truly an affront and assault to ALL Hellcat Eccentrics. Maybe it's my Island blood, in which your clan sticks together, or maybe it's the psychologist in me trying to make sense out of unfounded, unrelenting HATRED, but I know this much: You attack my fellow Misfits, it's GAME. ON. And I will use what tools i have to my disposal. For me, that means my words, my abilities to copy and paste pretty pictures, and my penchant for picking really really good music. *grins*. That, my lovelies, is the story of the inception of Musings on Other Queens. 

Featured Royal Rebels

 We're gonna flow a bit different today for the featured Rebel section. We Other's like to switch it up a bit, and I've already run long on my earlier stories...so let's give a try, yes? I'm going to highlight Kristen, as always, but showcase her in the company of other Majestic Misfits of whom I hope to write more about in future Musings...It could be construed as, say, building an army of rabble rousers, folks who wave their Freak Flag high and proudly represent our brand of Rebellion...Oh and they're glorious, my lovelies, just like the reigning Queen Other herself is. 

Reigning Other Queen: Kristen Stewart

Major Offenses of Otherness:  

Unapologetically Authentic,

Truthful Public Speaking

Wears Chucks with designer dresses. 

In. Public.

Kristen, in my opinion is a real-life representation of another Mayhem Minx

Other Queen, Iconic Literary Heroine: 
Lisbeth Salander

Major Offenses of Otherness:

Disregards rules,

Unashamedly more intelligent than EVERY.ONE,

Defender of WOMEN'S and HUMAN rights

Lisbeth's tenacity and cleverness are shared traits with a certain British Hellion:

Royal Rebel, Poet Warrior: Rob Pattinson
Major Offenses of Otherness:
Insistence in defending his private life,
Willingness to take risks in his craft,
Defender and Supporter of Other Queens and Rebel Royals

His willingness to tackle unconventional roles is reminiscent of the great Mythical Misfit:

Royal Rebel, Original Revolutionary:
 Johnny Depp

Major Offense of Otherness: 

Unapologetically Authentic,

Propensity towards eccentric, offbeat roles,

Defender and protector of his and his family's private life

So thank you for journeying on this nostalgic road with me, my fellow Trailblazing Thinkers. I humbly bow before you for all for your unparalleled support and generosity as I  gather the troops for supporting not just Queen Stewie and Rebel Rob, but for all Others and misrepresented souls out in our world. I am so greatly moved that you would hold the space for me to divulge a few personal details in the name of deconstructing the alien, the unknown factor that often accompanies segregation, degradation and prejudice. But see, my entire hope in public Musings was to illuminate the fact that we are all Others, together. There really is no need for Vultures to circle in hopes of "catching" our Rebel Royals in compromising situations. 

Because I found one definition of beauty among hundreds, that I can comfortably call my own, I am an Other Queen.

Because Rob, Lisbeth and Johnny refuse to compromise their authentic paths, and defend their rights to privacy, they are all Majestic Misfits. 

Because she delves consistently and passionately into her work, and because she is unapologetic for it, Kristen is our Reigning Other Queen.

I am Other.

Kristen is Other.

Others go back to their Beginnings,

grateful for present blessings.

Embrace Your Other. 

Question: When did you realize you were really majestic in your misfit-ness? 

When did you pay homage to your awkward beginnings? 

A/N: My awesome and insanely gifted prereaders/betas are Buff_82, Cynically Convy and Bouffant. You ladies are my sexspenders on WFERob's pants. You're THAT valuable to me. Loves, Hugs, Tears and gropes as usual to my Cyber Sisters and Readers. Special shout outs to @P_lever; @Miss_Maroon @AriRebel3 @TakemetoBliss @JessWink22 for waiting so patiently for my response to your letters and awesome projects. Truth be told, I'm quite stunned by your words and plans, and I can't gather coherency. Can you believe that shit? Me? Incoherent? bahaha. To my Possum Besties Ophelia and Justice: I miss you girls. Thanks to Periwinkle for a little Lisbeth Salander pep talk this week. To Julie as always. And to My ClogWielding Warrior Queen, J. You stun me. 

Slow Your Roll...Mini Musings, Island-Style

Aloha, Lovelies! Happy Thursday to you. It's 745 AM in Kauai and I'm sitting at the bamboo coffee table on the lenai just as I had hoped to! (Qualifier: I began writing at 745AM at our suite, but finished writing while in the Botanical Gardens outside Tunnels Beach north of Hanalei Bay, four hours later). I'm drinking tea, eating fruit, and still sniffling from this sinus infection/cold I've battled since Sunday.  Here's the plan: While Thursday is my usual day for Musings, I'm going to opt instead to write a Muselet, as My Manager Kathryn calls it. When I return from my trip, I'll write a full fledged Musings: Hawaii Edition early next week. All good? Cool. So let's plow. 

I'm writing a Muselet today for a few reasons:

1. I'm in Kauai with N and my Mother, why would I be in front of a computer at all? 

2. I'm sick again, and am in dangerous proximity to various uppers and downers in the form of cold tablets. Must feed the beast. 

3. It is relatively quiet in our Other Queen Stewie's world. Good. She likes it that way. 

4. I forgot my camera's USB cable and cannot import all the pictures I'm taking into iPhoto or today's essay.  You'll have to deal with my iPhone shots, kiddos.

5. I've wanted to write about self-care and replenishment for some time now, especially in the wake of a chaotic couple of weeks for Team Other, but also for Kstew and her Deliciously Handsome partner Rob.

Aloha peaceful soul! Hanalei Bay

So first thing’s first:

Where in the world is our girl Kristen?! Oh, yes, that’s right, she’s being professional and her usual NinjaStew self in Montreal. There have been only a whisper or two regarding KStew sightings, and without the picture of BowlingAlleyStew from the rather cool guy who referred to Kristen as “that punky chick from Twilight”, we’d never know she was truly in Montreal for Beatnik Bootcamp. I love this about Stewie. She is stealth and completely underground when she wants to be, which, um, is all the time. And what happens when Kristen goes MIA? Oh yes, the haters begin to spew their vile rumors, and fashion and cultural critics begin compiling their BEST AND WORST OF lists. A shift in the summer, perhaps? Guess who made it to the Best Hairstyle Lists, according to Yahoo this morning?  StrawberryStew. Not too shabby for a girl who was repeatedly slammed for wearing a shag deemed The Mullet during her Runaways filming days and beyond. 

Um, so I've braided the shag and now I'm considered among The Best? 
Whatever,  you pretentious Mofos

I'm enjoying the sea breeze in the moment, though my curly hair is NOT. While sitting on the beach with my afro, I thought of how there are few to no sightings of our Queen these days. It's gonna be a drought, my friends, because Kristen is happiest when she is immersed in work, out of the public eye, participating in her craft. She had spent the past 9 months or so doing promotional work for her movies, now it's time for her to do some filming, a self-reported favorite aspect of her job. Kristen is happiest when working. Whaaaa? How many of us can say this?

I'm just coming off of a chaotic week in which I spent several days chasing after Monkey (my beloved niece and flower girl for Cousin's Wedding)  and dodging long-held family grudges and aggression over ham dinners. It's no wonder I'm sick. Where do I go to become NinjaKJ, to replenish, to slow my roll? Where am I happiest? This is a good place to start. 

Complete with Surfer EyeCandy for my girls

 @Evalola80 and @Just2CUSmile

The islands. I need to be near the ocean, preferably island-side. It's in my blood. Both my ethnic backgrounds are comprised of Islanders, and I feel closest to The Muses while surrounded by water. I travel a lot, and when I do, I write. I'm actually working on another project featuring my travel writing and featuring N's stunning photography. Why? Because while I'm here, traveling or among islands, I can breathe. While I'm here, I can immerse in my happy place, and like Kristen, I feel whole again. 


There is an essential health component involved with learning how to properly self care. We caretakers, healers, women, artists...we are constantly giving away pieces of our soul, our vital energies to providing for everyone and everything outside of ourselves. How can we preserve and replenish the energy we expend during our days? How do we fill up our soul's bank accounts after relentless withdrawals? There are many ways we can do this, and each concept of self-care varies from person to person. It doesn't have to cost any money. I planned this Kuaui vacay about 7 months ago because I know that in order for me to restore balance and peace in my world, I need to spend some time on an island somehow, at least once a year. It's my one grand gesture a year. Otherwise it's at-home pedicures and a soak in the tub. Last year my Island restoration occurred in Bali because N is from there, as is the Goddess of Destruction/Reinvention Kali...anyhoo...But its the simplest things that lend to creative boosts, a spirit spit-shine...

Stewie goes Strawberry-blonde and delves into her heart's work with On The Road in beautiful Montreal:

I tend to look for the nearest beach and bury my toes in the sand:

Because doing the Electric Slide in stilettos just doesn't whisper comfort to me:

That's me on the left, Puss is on the right. 

We're behaving ourselves in the church pew.

For. Now.

Some folks opt for a trip to the ocean, or travel to the mountains and forests, looking for the elusive silence for contemplation. Conversations with God, Allah, the Higher Power can restore our sense of right in the world; as can a bubble bath or a massage. Sometimes hanging with the girlfriends sipping Martinis is the most healing practice of all. Reading books soothes me, as does running long distances. Listening to music live or in stereo headphones can work, cleaning out garages and kitchens too. 

What tells me that Rob is invested in a little self care? It's not because he's in front of camera flashes and on red carpets. Nuh. Uh. 

While this is pretty for us, it's not his Happy Place

It's because he's been caught Ridin' Drrty. And I fucking UNF for Rob's brand of Self-Care. This is what he can do until he reunites with his lovely Queen Kristen, hopefully in Montreal. 

Rob Pattinson, His Royal JawPorn Highness, cruising in a Chevy Nova with his Bestie TomStu...to, wait for it.... IN-N-OUT.  I do have a pic with the In-N-Out sign in the background, but I'm posting these because I can and it's my Muselet. 

Ok, I realize I'm biased, being a Cali girl through and through, but wouldn't you say this is the epitome of California Beauty right here? Dashing men in a classic Chevy, laaaaaid-back, heading to the best Burger Place EVAH?

So my Lovely Musers...I sign off on this little Musing Moment now so I can go pop another Sudafed and find my mother and N who have wandered into the botanical gardens above this stunning deserted beach:

I'll be back next week, early, to write a Hawaiian Edition of Musings: The Beginning of Beauty...Because I have encountered so many versions of Beautiful Rebels here, I may need to move Team Other's Head Quarters to Kauai. Somehow I don't think you all would mind. Listen to a little Jack Johnson, a little Marley, and some IZ, yeah? And dig your toes into the sand. Immerse yourself in what you love, to replenish, a la KStew or RPattz Style. But above all, be well, Lovelies. 

I am Other.

Rob is Other.

Kristen is Other.

Others immerse themselves in The Happy,

 and roll Novas to In-N-Out.

Embrace Your Other. 

QUESTION: What do you do to replenish your fractured, tired soul? Where is YOUR Happy Place?

A/N: This Musing Moment was unBeta'd, and written while under the influence of cold medicine and Island Time. I imagine there are typos, jumbled words...eh. Don't hate. See you next week, my Misfit Mates. 

Me...but more

Why So Broken?

It seems that (not surprisingly), I encountered many signs encouraging me to re-intergrate aspects of myself this week. Ahhh... Lady Synchronicity appears again. Firstly, you all know that I stumbled quite serendipitously upon the new space for what I refer to as the "magical little practice". It was a case of Psychotherapist Kj introducing herself to the bliss-pursuing, Other Queen-in-training Kj. Then, on Friday night I went for tapas and cocktails at a Spanish lounge with my beautiful Welsh Muse, Kathryn, to whom I refer to as My Manager. She literally is to me what I believe Ruth is to Stewie. She keeps me tuned in to my path of Creative Living, and talks me up and tries to book me for public gigs (hey a girl's gotta make the rent payment somehow!). That night (further details in a moment), the Other Queen-apprentice part of me shook hands with the Musician part of me. And both aspects waved a warm greeting to Psychotherapist Kj. The night ended with me handing over my psychotherapy business card to our lovely waitress Kelly who in turn handed it to the restaurant's manager. My Manager and I set up an audition to sing and play piano as a musical guest at this lovely Spanish restaurant and lounge (cue freaking-the-fuck-out riiiight now). Well, I didn't stay out too late that night, because I was set to be On The Road with Marble Pole the next morning, early, so that I could meet up with my Cyber Sisters/ Readers of my Twilight group in the center of this state.

So I pondered (it's what I do, and then I ramble about it to you generous, patient people every Thursday, thank the Goddess): Why do we fragment ourselves? Why do we keep parts of our personalities, talents and interests concealed? My Sisters and Readers had a vague idea of my field of work, but that I did some sort of counseling and I am looking for my niche (i.e. a job). They didn't know I was a musician or a writer until I began this lovely project--Musings. No one in my family (with the exception of my sis Puss) or on Facebook know that I write Musings; or that I have a healthy admiration for Kristen and Rob (TRANSLATION: I totes crush on them both and have them on my Freebie Five List).

Do you have a separate group of friends who know the serious, work-focused you, and then another group of friends who you speak to about falling in love and raising a family? Perhaps you have another cohort of colleagues that you speak with about shared interests like: sports you play, hobbies you have? Or say...hmmm... Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart? Do your partners and family members know that you've seen Eclipse four times already? Do your parents, siblings and co-workers know why they hear a THUD and not surprisingly find you on the floor, unconscious below your desk? Could it be because of these, um, OUTTAKES??

*thud*

Did I lose a few of you just now? Yeah. I thought so.

Or these??

Her gaze and his smirk burst with secrets, no?

Come Together

With my Twilight Roadtrip weekend and my attempts at pimping out my musical services, I realized that I had initiated The Merge. Cyber Sisters are now my 3D friends. I have faces, voices, facial expressions, perfume and an assortment of sensory associations linked to previously 2D acquaintances. A month or so ago, I met a few gorgeous ladies of The KSIBTU Crew in person even though we'd been "friends" online for some time. After our meeting? These ladies and I have strong personal relationships outside the World Wide Web. I call and write my Sisters and the KSIBTU girls for advice and guidance, just as I ask my Sister Puss and my husband. Though I base my Musings on events inspired by Kristen and her Homecoming Court of Misfits each week, the emails and correspondence exchanged with you all are about the issues we ponder and navigate in OUR lives. So again, I ask myself: Why do we fragment?

Remembering concepts found in all previous book recs I've featured here, like Eve Ensler's I am an Emotional Creature and Marianne Williamson's A Woman's Worth, we realize that whether we asked for it or not, we are categorized in society by labels and gender roles. We are expected to take certain actions in fulfilling roles while we're criticized for being frivolous if we try to embrace unexpected roles or paths. Take a look at all the roles we fill. Um. It's a shit-ton.

WIVES. MOTHERS. LOVERS. SISTERS. CARETAKERS. COMFORTERS. CHEFS. DRIVERS ATHLETES. PROVIDERS. ARTISTS. DAUGHTERS. CREATORS. STUDENTS. TEACHERS. FRIENDS. SCIENTISTS. ACADEMICS. INTELLECTUALS. PARTNERS. WARRIORS. MISFITS. REBELS. POETS. DEBATERS. DETECTIVES. BLISS-PURSUERS. DANCERS.

QUEENS.

Williamson suggests, as do social psychologists, spiritual healers and medical practitioners, that the key is balance. Only when we embrace all aspects of ourselves are we truly whole. So much energy goes into denying pleasures or attributes that we have. We can be (M)others as well as Career Women. We can be compassionate, nurturing and nonviolent all while being strong, firm, athletic and intellectual. We absolutely can be "pretty" while driving a tractor or truck, debating the virtues of molecular biology, planning the recovery methods of hydrocarbons in petroleum engineering. Likewise, ballerinas may be beautiful swans on the performance stage as well as auto mechanics during the work week. The point is, we don't have to deny ourselves our talents or interests in favor of social acceptance, although most of the time we do. It's exhausting to fragment and deny. Its detracting from focusing on the work, the journey in front of us. It prevents us from meeting amazing people with similar interests. It causes us to lose confidence, increase anxiety. Why cause more heartache for ourselves? Here's what I think: We can have it ALL. Fly the "freak flag", yo. Take it all in. Merge your many facets. We can, in fact be Chucks- and tiara-wearing Royal Rebels.

courtesy of the extraordinary @buff_82

Marianne Williamson and one of my favorite writers, Sonia Choquette, Ph.D, advise that while society programs us to question whether or not we are "beautiful", we are more vulnerable to the LIE the further we detach from our selves. Our self-awareness, our beliefs, our hopes, our connection with our Higher Power, whatever that may be. And how do we connect with our self-awareness? YUP. By acknowledging EVERYTHING we are. By not fragmenting ourselves. By embracing all of our strengths and challenges. By recognizing, not segregating, owning what is OURS. This is the pathway to bliss, the pathway to authenticity.

"Authenticity: 'the courage to be imperfect, set boundaries, and be vulnerable' "

The above quote was from Dr Brene Brown, a researcher, professor and writer on the very important and essential topics of shame, resiliency and authenticity. Thanks to the sublimely lovely @TheUrbanWhisk, I stumbled upon Dr Brown's amazing work. Check her enchanting messages of hope, courage and authenticity here: Ordinary Courage

This is what we may look like once we begin The Merge and Balance of our fragmented souls:

Yippee! I love salt, Rumi, fanfiction, dance movies and office supplies!

So how does becoming more You, More Other, More Authentic look in the 3D world? Well, for me, it started with the meeting of my Cyber Sisters and fellow KSIBTU Crew gals...it's progressed into following the Miracle Bubbles to the Healing Center for my new counseling practice...then introducing myself to the Spanish Lounge's staff to set up a singing audition...and will probably culminate in me linking Musings to my Facebook pals. Its the small steps towards embracing my Other...I probably won't wear my I UNF FOR KSTEW tee-shirt to the family wedding I'm attending this weekend. But you can bet your sweet asses I'll be wearing it for my first singing gig at the Lounge.

courtesy of CafePress and @buff_82. again.

See why she's a Goddess?

Let's talk about this week's Rebellious Royals, shall we? I'm featuring another ginger, kids, I know, big shocker. Why not? The redheads seem to be the penultimate rebels in the end don't they? Shirley Manson, singer, songwriter, activist, actress certainly embodies all the great qualities of Otherness.

Featured Rebel Royal: Shirley Manson

Not only was a fan of hers and her band GARBAGE for the ten years and beyond, but I simply fell in love her all over again and wanted to give her massive props for her very public defense of our Other Queen Kristen in a Facebook Memo. Quite honestly, if you haven't been a fan of Shirley's already, I think now, my fellow Musers and Team Other mates, you NEED to be, simply on principle. Like. NOW. Here's the link to her full passionate note: SHIRLEY MANSON'S NOTE

And here is an an Excerpt:

Why are people so turned off by Kristen Stewart?!?!?!

I don't get it.

I think she's the best thing about the entire Twilight franchise.

Absolutely.

She's delicious to look at.

She's a talented actress.

(I don't care what anyone else has to say about her acting because I think she behaves EXACTLY the way me and all my pals did around that age of the character she is playing so THERE!)

AND she's articulate.

And she's a little shy.

And clearly very thoughtful.

What's not to love?

I hate it when she gets trashed.

It hurts my teenage self

SAVE OUR SMART GIRLS

SAVE THEM NOW

Ms Shirley Manson lives and works in Los Angeles now, but hails originally from Edinburgh, Scotland. Known for her distinctive voice, her personal lyrics and rebellious attitude, Shirley gained international success and acclaim with her band Garbage in the mid to late 1990's. She began her musical career as a backup singer and keyboardist for the Scottish band Goodbye, Mr Mckenzie. She caught the eye of record producers who approached her to release an album as a solo singer. In 1993, she released her solo album performing under the name of Angelfish. It was her solo efforts that grabbed the attention of her future bandmates of Garbage. The band invited Shirley to record an album with them. The result was the mega-successful, grammy-winning Garbage. She remains with the band after another three albums. The songs Stupid Girl, Only Happy When It Rains, and #1Crush are among the most recognized songs of the Alternative Rock movement of the Nineties and early 2000s.

Shirley cites a difficult social upbringing for her forays into "rebel life". According to biography, Shirley was bullied in her first years of secondary school, leading her to suffer depression and utilize self-injurious behaviors such as cutting and substance use. With forays into shoplifting, truancy and delinquency, Ms Manson was largely absent from any form of structured education system.

Beauty Marks: 1. Distinctive voice 2. Female front for an all-male band 3. Honestly discloses personal experiences with low self-esteem, stress and anxiety. 4. Overcame her self-defeating behaviors to become a voice for social issues and awareness of animal mistreatment

Offenses of Otherness: (per Other Hunters, Schoolyard Bullies and Ass Clowns) 1. Wears short skirts with Tall Boots 2. Wears clothing that accentuates her feminine attributes 3. Outspoken in her activism 4. Brutally honest in lyric-writing, citing controversial issues such as self-mutilation and substance abuse

In addition to her songwriting and fronting for Garbage and her various solo musical projects, Shirley is an acitivist and participant in raising awareness for cancer research for children, several AIDS research groups and PETA. She experienced the heartbreak of being a bully victim, and turned her previously self-harming coping skills into activism. Because she speaks up for the oppressed, overlooked, and misunderstood, Shirley Manson is Rebel Royalty.

Reigning Other Queen: Kristen Stewart

Our lovely Ms. Stewart has begun Beatnik Bootcamp in Montreal, Canada this week. Gone are the mis-shapen, frizzy Bella Swan wigs, and in their place are Kristen's natural, strawberry-blonde locks for the embodiment of the iconic figure of Mary Lou in the film adaptation of On The Road. Kristen told reporters on the Eclipse press junket that she has been attached to On The Road for a few years now, but is so pleased and relieved to finally reveal her participation in the story she refers to as her "first favorite book ever". Already, movie critics are praising the casting of our Other Queen in the role as MaryLou, not only for her impressive status as a result of The Twilight Saga, but due to an observable maturity and depth in her extraordinary acting talents.

Beauty Marks: 1. Reveling in her domestic goddess ways, baking pies for cast mates and press junket interviewers 2. Supports her friends' projects publicly, despite knowing paparazzi will be there 3. Completely dedicated to embodying all faults and assets she posses 4. Gifted in physical movement: Juggles, golfs, throws spiraling footballs with precision (in 4-inch heels while sick no less! See the now-legendary Jimmy Fallon appearance)

Offenses of otherness (per Other-Hunters, Bullshit People, AssClowns): 1. Keeps composure despite intrusive photographers' insults as she attends public events 2. Does not confirm or deny her personal relationship with Rob Pattinson 3. Is awkward and uncomfortable 4. Is honest in her reactions, but shy and cerebral in interviews. (This confuses people who want to categorize her by a singular emotion.)

This week, as Kristen prepared to be out of the country and away from her home, friends and family, she made headlines simply for stepping out with Rob to attend a show in support of musician friend Bobby Long. The reigning Other Queen wants to enjoy her limited time with her beloveds. In the aftermath of the chaotic world-gallivanting promo tour, Kristen is preparing to immerse herself in work again, which is something that she not only loves doing, but marks her impressive dedication to her craft. Once she returns from her On The Road filming, Kristen will delve into preparation for filming Breaking Dawn parts 1 and 2. With her departure to Montreal, as usual, the BullShit People, fame whores and Ass Clowns crawl out of the woodwork to concoct wild rumors and speculation.

LIGHTBULB MOMENT: These shit-stirrers who call themselves "fans" may be why some of us try avoid claiming any association with the "Twilight fandom". And instead attempt to redefine the true meaning of support and appreciation for Kristen, Rob and Twilight. Some of the more extreme (i.e. stalkers, fame whores and embarrassingly delusional) followers in this fandom sure know how to degrade and misrepresent, don't they??

Talk all you want. We're still going home together.

While the "fans" work themselves into a foamy lather, our girl Kristen and her Rebellious Partner in Crime Rob don't appear to bat an eyelash. Perhaps this is the greatest indicator that Kristen and Rob are balanced, un-fragmented, whole spirits: they know each other and themselves well enough; have confidence in their chosen friends and beloveds (did you see how TomStu and Sam shielded Kristen from the Other-Hunters at Bobby's concert?) to cast away the doubt, nonsense and hate from their awareness in pursuit of their bliss confidently, calmly, wholly.

Smoothing The Splinters

Because I am letting the inner therapist and the neglected musician follow the path of the Bliss-Pursuing Other Queen, I am moving towards embracing my Otherness as a Chucks-and-tiara-wearing Rebel Royal.

Because she turned her experience of victimization into a distinctive voice in defense of neglected, forgotten and persecuted Others, Shirley Manson is an Other Queen.

Because she adamantly refuses to give into the jeers, insults and rumors meant to tear her apart, and instead keeps her focus on her craft and the path ahead of her; within company of encouraging beloveds who know all of her, Kristen Stewart is the reigning Other Queen.

I am Other.

Shirley is Other.

Kristen is Other.

Others know that embracing the whole is the greatest rebellion.

Embrace Your Other.

Question: What can you do to bring your splintered roles, interests and loves closer together?

A/N: Did you enjoy the Special Edition Musings this week, with guest writer Bouffant? Did you let her know here or on Twitter? She's @Bouffant00. I am off to be in my 3D world, and may even be on a plane as you read this. I am spending time with my family and attending a cousin's wedding. Then, N and I are flying off to Hawaii for a week with my mother, to introduce her to the islands that are so very special to me. She hasn't been before. I don't know for absolute certainty that I'll post next Thursday per usual. But The Muses are so very unexpected, so I may very well hole up on the patio with a cocktail and babble away at you again. I'll let you know.

In the meantime, please check out my girls' projects: Visit @Bouffant00 of course, and also @Buff_82. Buff is a goddess, we've established this. A photographer and graphic design genius, even though she denies it. Go visit her on Twitter and on FanFic.net as she is the author of Eclipsed Heart (completed) and Redeem Me. Obviously check out CC's brilliant @KStewsbtrthanu because she's outrageously gifted and clever, and she's my sister. Join @TheUrbanWhisk's culinary adventure on her gorgeous blog celebrating all things food. See my profile here and peek at the blogs I follow, give love to my girls @Takemetobliss, @Frayo and @Jwink...the possibilities are endless. Many thanks to Marble Pole, Puss, Kathryn My Manager, Julie, and Clog-Wielding Queen J. To the lovelies who helped me brainstorm the name of "the magical little practice": You stun me. Lastly, as usual, my Cyber Sisters/Readers/3D friends, I'll see you in the morning, like everyday. LOVE YOU.