If you go, if you go...
leave me down here on my own...
I'll wait for you
--In My Place, Coldplay
We went about one month without seeing hide nor hair of Kristen. While it was vexatious in moments, I was content in knowing she was completely occupied embodying her role as Marylou for the already-legendary film On the Road. The knowledge that she was invested in her work and not hiding from the Vulture-Papz eased the ache just a teensy bit. Well, then suddenly, um. BAM. I think it was even just after I had posted Musings, late last Thursday night. Near Midnight here in Cali. We got a look at Kristen in her costume for Marylou. And then, holy mother, we got pics of Rob from the same day. Outside Kristen's trailer on the set for On the Road.
I was a bit conflicted as to whether I would post any of those pics, as I completely disagree with the invasive nature in which the Vultures typically obtain pics of Robert and Kristen (i.e. stalking, lurking, heckling, invading, ridiculing, then selling those images for an obscene amount of money to grocery store tabloids). But I figured I could post a few of the pictures...because I'm all for supporting Rob and Kristen in their quest to Communicate, Mofos! And I admittedly enjoy watching as Rob and Kristen concisely express their thoughts about papz and perhaps to some of their more extreme-clingy Not-A-Fan Stalkers, without saying a word. And we here at Team Other love Non-Verbal Communication! And besides: Rob sees you, you Stalker Lice.
You know that I can see you there, right?
And MarylouStew says:
I have cold cream, I will use it, Lurkers.
Just not in a way you hoped.
You will not enjoy it.
BeastieBoyRob Says to the Vultures:
"I can't stand it, I know you planned it...!
This is all your...Sabotage"
So the pictures of MarylouStew in her lovely strawberry-blonde locks caused some rejoicing in the Kristen fandom. And when the pics of Rob in his classic Beastie Boy t-shirt surfaced, I'm pretty sure I heard bodies hitting the floor in a faint. Rob was there. To see his Queen, our Queen, Kristen. As soon as he wrapped up filming for his own film Water for Elephants in Los Angeles, after his obligatory work accepting surfboards at the Teen Choice Awards, the dude was on a plane to Montreal to be with his lady love. In the two or three days after those first pictures emerged into the limelight, Kristen and Rob fans began receiving the most incredible gifts of nonverbal communication that it actually overwhelmed. There were The Nuzzle pics. There were the Kristen-is-practicing-her-Lindy Hop-moves pics, and there were about two hundred fan encounters and pictures that materialized. This one was my favorite:
I cant..I just...yesss...for so many reasons..gah!
I prefer this for many reasons, one of them being that Rob and Kristen are in it...together. Also, this nice lady and her kids made this a family affair and she and her family (husband/dad snapped the picture, after asking Rob and Kristen's permission first) interacted respectfully with the couple, thus being rewarded with the singular shot of the night with both Rob and Kristen in it, intentionally. Well then, of course, THIS happened. And it became one of my favorites evah.
quite honestly, I think this is more revealing
than all of the others.
This picture led to the pics seen 'round the world, with a confirmation that for some reason people still needed: Kristen and Robert are together...as a couple. A K-I-S-S-I-N-G couple. If you haven't seen the grainy pictures yet a.) you're in the minority and b.) you will need to check out the gossip sites elsewhere to see 'em. That's the compromise I made with myself when alluding to The Kissing Pictures. Ok. So what will I post? How bout some more Communicating, my Other Rabble Rousers?!!
Nobody looks this good when walking.
Nobody but them.
Going Home
So today's Musings is dedicated to the glorious moment of realizing we belong somewhere. That we have a place reserved only for ourselves where we can kick off our shoes, breathe deeply and share that space with what or whomever we choose.
This is something I know a whole lot about. Friends and family know me as "gypsy" or "bohemian nomad". I have the wanderlust pretty fiercely. It's a thirst in me that overtakes and overruns. Fortunately, I was raised by a woman who prescribed to the most incredible philosophy:
Travel is Education.
Travel is Important.
Travel is Life.
Also, with my Island Blood coursing through my veins, and my constant seeking for "belonging" as an Other..and a child of adoption, I was destined to explore and find my niche. Throw in the fact that smack dab in the middle of the years I simply refer to as: 2005 Thru 2007, I lost some major footing and was seeking grounding and direction. In the dark, dark time right after my "BreakThrough" as I lovingly refer to it (reference the Musings titled "Finding your voice..."), I needed to ...go away. To heal. To remind myself what I was doing here, what my direction was. What was worth preserving. I was scattered, lacking balance, and I was RUN RUN RUN RUNNNNING from everything. And "dating" enough people for my friends and family to jokingly refer to my dates as "the UN Panel". What? So I'm worldly. I've told you guys that before. Don't judge. In this particular time, I was granted an opportunity to travel to Asia for the first time. Oh I TRAVELED. I spent time in China, South Korea, Japan, Hong Kong, and finally, my own islands: The Philippines.
Nara, Japan.
World's Tallest Buddha.
un.be.lieve.able.
I had no choice.
It's The Great Wall of China!
I raced to the highest peak and screamed "HELLLLLO"
What is the saying? You don't know what you have until it's gone...? Or...You must travel so far away to realize you were home all along.... There's no place like Home....All of this was true for me. This could be the same for Rob and Kristen. Home. Home. Home. I discovered in my lengthy travels, even having a week on my own in The Philippines to discover my culture, that HOME is where my heart soared. Home did not have a mailbox with my name attached to it. Home was in my suitcase, with my flip flops, in my iPod. Home was where I made it. Home was shared with whatever or whomever I wanted to share it with. Home became to which I referred as my inner contentedness. A certainty that I was ok being a female, adopted and bi-racial and pierced and tattooed and voluptuous and a fan of both Rage Against the Machine AND Fergie...a confidence that wherever I was...I was OK. I didn't need to go in search of my biological parents when I went to the Philippines...But I did go and find my culture.. I ate the cuisine, I listened to the music, I spoke with families and had meals with folks who wanted nothing more than to share their family recipe and fresh mangoes from the tree. It makes perfect sense that I managed to meet my future husband N while I was traveling all over the world and realizing that not only did I fit a standard of "beauty" in some parts of the world, but that I was just fine doing so on my own. He did not complete some unfinished project that I represented. He stands beside me. Home.
So this week, I'd say Rob went where he was content. To be with the person who seems to be ok with everything that he is. And he seems to be ok with everything that Kristen is. All in her Other Queen gloriousness. Home.
Featured Rebel Royal: Jenny Lewis
Well, kids, you know how I love me my gingers. Here's another lovely red-headed rebel I wanted to introduce you to. Her name is Jenny, and she is a singer, songwriter and former child actor. You may recognize her from her work in one of my very favorite childhood movies: Troop Beverly Hills but, perhaps you adore her for being the near-primary front-woman for the indie-rock band Rilo Kiley.
While she made her show business debut in a JELL-O commercial, and appeared in over a dozen teen-themed TV movies and films, including The Wizard, it was in 1998 that Jenny stopped acting in favor of forming a band with friends. She is a singer/songwriter, guitarist and keyboard player for the band that has released five albums. She also has released two solo albums, appearing with The Watson Twins in her debut album Rabbit Fur Coat and then later, sans the twins in the country-tinged, indie-rock flavored Acid Tongue.
Offenses of Otherness:
*has "girlishly seductive & versatile vocals"
*formed a band for the love of music,
having no financial backing
*in-demand vocal collaborator with musicians:
Postal Service, Death Cab for Cutie, and
Elvis Costello
Miss Lewis has an admirer in our Reigning Other Queen Kristen! Kristen reported once having admired Jenny's stage presence and performance abilities. When asked by MTV during the promo tour for The Runaways, Kristen reported that one of her favorite musicians was "Jenny Lewis". Pretty fantastic endorsement coming from Rebel Royalty, and one who has famously pristine taste in music.
Reigning Other Queen: Kristen Stewart
In this epic week of Kristen sightings, MarylouStew sightings, and Kristen and Rob "home-comings", her film On the Road is gaining much attention, not only for the incredible cast attached to it, and not just because it's an iconic book in American literature, but because of Kristen's participation in it. Naysayers claim that Kristen's well-known partnership with Rob, or her involvement with Twilight is responsible for her "fame", but Kristen's impressive colleagues from previous movies tout and praise Kristen's acting ferocity, disputing the naysayers. "She is utterly fierce" says Melissa Leo, Kristen's Welcome to the Rileys co-star. Maria Bello, of The Yellow Handkerchief describes Kristen as "wonderful to work with, and a wonderful actress". And early movie critics have hailed Kristen's casting as Marylou as "wise".
Offenses of Otherness:
*willingly displays her vulnerability
*seeks honest and authentic colleagues as her support network
*unabashedly direct in giving her opinion
*seeks honest and authentic colleagues as her support network
*unabashedly direct in giving her opinion
Because I ran ran ran ran far from home to realize I could never shake what was always mine, I am making the steps towards Other Queendom.
Because she picked up a guitar and sang for an unsigned, unknown musical union of friends, having walked away from a potentially successful acting career, Jenny is a fierce Rebel Queen.
Because Kristen has made her opinion on parasitic creatures preying on her personal life--including her relationship with Rob--abundantly clear, without having to say a word, Kristen is Reigning Other Queen.
Jenny is Other.
Kristen is Other.
Others recognize Home not as a location,
but a state of being.
Embrace your Other.
Question: Who, what, where is Home for You?
A/N: Thank you to Bouffant, as always for pre-reading and perusing the Thesaurus with me--it's like fucking Christmas when I'm using a thesaurus, and B played. Thank you to @Buff82 for making this whole thing pretty. I still tear up when I pull up the page and see her art. As always, thank you to CC, as her joy in writing KSIBTU inspires me daily. To Iris @Just2CUSmile, who holds my hands while I cry through the night..while reading stories. Thank you to my beloved Sisters &Readers including Sail, Julie, Lowkey, Brothaa (Missy) and as always, the Clog Wielding Queen. I want to thank two writers who have broken my heart and surpassed all that is beautiful this week with words they've written: H32M who writes Disappear Here and Danieller123, author of the staggering Under the Apple Tree. You teach me more. You teach me about Exquisite Poetry. I bow down to you. Thank you to Kathryn, my Welsh Muse, Manager and friend. And to her outrageously gifted husband, my friend Keiron. You INSPIRE. See you all next Thursday.
KJ,
ReplyDeleteGreat post as always!
As a military brat, I used struggle with the concept of "home." For me, "home" meant that single place that you were from, that place that you went back to. In my family, that was always different. There was the city where I was born, the first place I remember living, and all of the places we lived after that. Was it where I went to college and got my first taste of freedom? Was it where I studied abroad, where I felt for the very first time some stirrings of who I really was? Was it where I went to grad school, where I made my first real decisions? Where I went after that? Or is it where I am now? Sometimes, my nomadic life hasn't really been conducive to answering that question.
But, I figured out something along the way. "Home" isn't a physical place for me. It's a sense of belonging and knowing that I'm being who I am and pursuing what I want. It a place of absolute comfort and acceptance of self. I'll always be from a particular place (actually, places). Places that have influenced me and helped make me the person I am. But home is that place that, so long as I follow my own path for myself, I'll always carry with me. It's why I can pick up and go some place new, embark on an entirely new career, and still be OK. It doesn't mean it will be easy. But I'll never be lost because Home goes everywhere with me.
L
As always, your OTHER is beautiful and inspiring. love to you. iib
ReplyDeleteyes! the best view is from the front porch looking in! love you K!
ReplyDeleteDarlin, after last week, I didn't think you could do one better......but ya did. This one made me smile, made me go "aw" and made me think. Deeply, seriously and logically think. Thank you for that. I laugh here at home when hubby says "you're a rebel"....I tell him, "nope" and pop the "p"..."I'm 'other'"....he just grins and walks away....Thank you baby for having an "other" place where we can stand in the sunshine and glow as God intended. Superior work this week sweets. The ClogWieldingQueen
ReplyDeleteBeautifully written as always. What a wonderful edition of your Musings. Your words always are the highlight of my day and I await them eagerly each week. I feel so much that my mom would immediately fall in love with you were you and she given the chance to meet and swap stories of world travels. She loves offbeat faraway places, too, favoring visits with locals who generously open their hearts and home to her much the way you've described. There is something extremely special and unique about people like you (and my mom and grandmother). I am struck by the intense desire to share you with my mother, to bring together two people whom I greatly admire, and watch what unfolds. Perhaps I can take a trip with her to the City and we can scoop you up for a girl's night out... I will email you about that later! ;)
ReplyDeleteYour words always inspire me to be more introspective, to be bold, to be myself, to be genuine. I love what you share in your musings. I love the way your mind works. I love your spirit. I think you are utterly splendid. Your question at the end has made me think that although I grew up in the town where my parents still reside and in the very house where they still live, that is comforting and familiar (certainly pleasant) but it is not "home." I feel my home is this little corner of the Valley where A and I bravely moved, making the leap into homeownership without any prior knowledge of the area, with just a commitment to each other and our future. We have created our family and our life together and I never feel more at home than I do when I walk in the door and am embraced by the man who has always encouraged my otherness and shown me how to assert myself and the little girl we created who is proof that love is the strongest power at work in the universe and there is goodness all around us we just have to be open to it. My heart is full of love for these two people I'm lucky to call my companions through this part of my life. For me, being content with where my life is right now, the dear friends and family I am blessed to be surrounded with, all of this is what gives me the sense I am "home."
Amazing post KJ!!! Each week you give me something new to think about. Beautiful story of you finding home!!! Love you!!!
ReplyDeleteKJ,
ReplyDeleteYou continue to impress. Your ideas are lucid and your vision clear. And Kristen continues to burnish her crown...just by being herself.
Oh, Wise One.....beautiful, absolutely beautiful! I can count on you to bring me to tears each and every Thursday!
ReplyDeleteThank you for reminding me that "Home" isn't always a "place". For me, it has always been the love, peace, joy and comfort of sharing life with my loved ones and friends...and just being!
"What do you see when you look out the window of your life?" You know that I love that question!
bells
Your musings about Rob and Kristen are awesome. But your thoughts about home are above awesome. They are glorious.
ReplyDeleteWhile I have pledged allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, I know in my heart that there will only be one country that will completely own me... the country where I first saw the light of day.
Did you try your mangoes with bagoong? *winks*
chriserlyn
KJ, I am grateful for your reflective and perceptive posts (I've read them all) that appear weekly in my life. You, and they, reasonate in me.
ReplyDeleteI, too, am an Other who discovered that fact when I was very young and unprepared for it. Hard times led to now, many years later. I celebrate us all, as One, when I remember who I am, as do we all.
I'd like to share lyrics from a song by Ray LaMontagne. Many have probably heard of him or listened to his songs.
Like you do with words, he does in song, connecting the dots, completing the circle. Awesome to be here, now.
"Be Here Now"
Don't let your mind get weary and confused
Your will be still, don't try
Don't let your heart get heavy child
Inside you there's a strength that lies
Don't let your soul get lonely child
It's only time, it will go by
Don't look for love in faces, places
It's in you, that's where you'll find kindness
Be here now, here now
Be here now, here now
Don't lose your faith in me
And I will try not to lose faith in you
Don't put your trust in walls
'Cause walls will only crush you when they fall
Be here now, here now
Be here now, here now
Perfect post, KJ. There's one of those wooden saying signs to decorate houses that I always like, though I don't own it (yet): "Home is where your story begins." I like this for many reasons, but mostly because it reminds me that our stories are still unfolding, being told. Each day we wake and are blessed with a new day, we continue on our journey.
ReplyDeleteMy story may have technically begun in a small beach town in Florida in the mid-70's. That's HOME. My story as a young adult truly began when I moved far away, not just for school, but for "real life" and started fresh. Now this is HOME. My story of my self-identity, self-worth, and reason for being began when I became a mom. Being with my children is HOME.
Rob & Kristen are twin souls. Their home is with one another. This makes my heart happy! xo ~DD
I love all parts of this post KJ, well done. The music , the carefully thought-out photos, your travels.. all of it.
ReplyDeleteI love the 'hand on shoulder' photo. It really does speak volumes. A small gesture perhaps but so supportive, it speaks volumes to me. I hope they find some peace despite the way their lives have been opened up to the public these last few days.
Slowly but surely my 'home' has become the city. Where I'm doing what I love. With the family, husband & friends who accept me for who I am.
Home is not where you live but where they understand you. -Christian Morgenstern
I, look Jess, look forward to Thursdays and reading your insights. Thank you!! xo
Hi, again!
ReplyDeleteLove the Eminem song!
"So this week, I'd say Rob went where he was content. To be with the person who seems to be ok with everything that he is. And he seems to be ok with everything that Kristen is. All in her Other Queen gloriousness. "
ReplyDeleteohhh my melting heart....
sugar glider here:
ReplyDelete*big hugs*
*big big hugs*
That is all.
A
I must say, well my heart was ready ti explode when i read this blog. I know that feeling all to well and im at that breaking point and for the first time in my life, im trying not to run away and stand up and fight for what i deserve and it is kicking my butt. your article was such a pleasure to come upon and i really hope to read many more of your story. you sound like a fascinating woman who knows alot about life and the world and with that i truly appriecate you doing this posting this and as i said earlier thank u and look forward to more...
ReplyDeleteThis is the first time I have read your blog, but I enjoyed it very much. I will certainly look for your postings from now on. I am a big fan of Robert and Kristen alone and together, and love reading how others feel about them. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteH-healing
ReplyDeleteO-origin
M-memories
E-EVERYTHING
I don't know why it took me so long to get over to this post. RL is kicking my behind these days it seems.
ReplyDeleteCan I just say that I LOVE that we both LOVE the hand on shoulder R/K pic more than the kissing ones? Having dated someone who was 6'3" to my 5'7" for four years, I was always fond of this gesture. Its sort of the tall guys way of slipping his arm around your shoulder yet its almost more protective. In crowded spaces or when you're upset, that shoulder touch is UNREAL. So yes, I like that instead of flipping out over the kissing, its the little things taking our breath away.
Home for me is wherever those I love are. When I was a teenager, my parents talked about selling our house and moving into a new one. My dad built our house. It was my first home when I came home from the hospital. I'd lived my entire life there and the thought sickened me. Now, I realize if my parents moved tomorrow, it wouldn't matter. Home is where they are because as a single woman, they are the two most important people in my entire world and one day, when Prince Charming surfaces, well he'll round that off to a nice little top three. But yeah, home is with those who mean the most to me. If I had to spend xmas in an airport lets say, with no presents, no christmas tree, but I was sitting on the uncomfortable chairs with my parents, then I'd be pretty damn blessed all the same.
As always, beautiful post lovely! xo